Perfect New Year's Eve Haiku...

I'm workin' on it, ok?

Sparrow picked RESOLUTIONS for this
week's contest topic.

think of something before 10 pm tonight.

VOTING: Thursday and Friday.

I might be disturbed...

but, I'm not crazy.

We tied, again! ...

How cool is this?!

Enigma and I tied for first place in Sparrow's
Haiku Contest. We did the same several months ago.

What makes it extra special to me is that this
illustrious gentleman actually gets paid money
to write. Oh yeah.

And, then, it is even extra extra special because the lovely
Sparrow will send care packages to two U.S. soldiers listed
with AnySoldier.com

Enigma and I both asked that Sparrow choose soldiers
who are serving in Afghanistan.

Thank you to all who voted!

Holiday Haiku...

UPDATE SATURDAY: Go Back And Vote For Your Favorite.

Sparrow is taking entries for her weekly contest
until 10 pm today (Friday).

This week's topic is: Christmas Memories.

my entries...


One candle, one heart.
One wish to see you again.
One, waiting for you.

and

Midnight mass snowfall.
Incense pungent, candles glow.
Voices raised on high.

Merry Christmas...

May you...

always have
what you need.
always want
what you have.

Florida watercolor artist...

I love this man's art.

When seen in person, almost unbelievable that it is not photography.

Some of my favorite possessions are old Florida
souvenir plates and art deco ceramic flamingoes.

His website and gallery: Michael J. Weber.
Enjoy.

Not victims...

One of my favorite mil-bloggers is
Bill and Bob's Excellent Afghan Adventure.

His posts are always enlightening, educating
and often entertaining. He is gathering a large
readership and becoming quite influential.

This post is one of his best.
Go read and understand.
Ask questions, lend support.

He's been on my blog roll for quite a while.

Snow haiku...

Snow is falling now.
Take heart. It is nourishment
for Spring yet to come.


Sparrow is waiting for your entry.

UPDATE: please go back to vote for your favorite!
Deadline for voting is 10 p.m. Thursday.

African wildlife artist...

Check out her website.

Nancy H. Strailey

Lay-off #3...

got me.

Might go for a walk on the beach.
Or not.

Back later.

I'm fine.

Remember the turtle?...

Attempted rescue story here.

I can't help but wonder how the old guy is doing.
Found a site called Common Florida Turtles.

This little bit of pondering leads me to believe-
there are no blow jobs in the turtle world. Sad.




Unless...




they might be friends with...


the Blowfish. Ya think? Maybe?






I know. I know. I ain't right.

Don't blow the Haiku contest!...

Man, oh man, I am really off my game this week.

Sparrow's weekly Haiku Contest is tonight and we
only have two hours left to submit the genius-y
entries she expects.

The topic this week is: WIND.

my entry...

Howling and yowling,
whistling down the old chimney,
mocking fire's dance.


VOTING DEADLINE IS THURSDAY 10 PM!

Dear Santa...

The local newspaper printed some letters written by
school kids. I will post a few here. Spelling and
punctuation are as they wrote them...


"Merry Christmas! How is Mrs. Clause and the
reindeer?I'm looking forward to Christmas this year.
I'm hoping for some reading material.May I please
have a chest full of books?Some of my favorite series
are:Magic Tree House,Little House on the Prarie,
American Girl, and Princess Diarys.I hope the books
aren't too heavy. Merry Christmas!
Erica N."


"For Christmas I want only two things
a chiwawa and a chocolate lab. That is all
I want.♥you rock. To me it is really cool that you can
go all around the world in one night.Thank you
for all the presents you gave me. I love you. P.S. This
year the cookies are chocolate chip.♥
Madison M."

"I am very happy to say that I
have been a very good little boy this
year. Not perfect. I had a couple fights
with my brother but we made up right
away. you will be pleased to know that
I've kept my room clean and clothes put away
neatly-which is very hard to do while sharing
a room with a twin brother whatever toys you
send me this year will be just wonderful
I can't wait to put out the milk and cookies for
you.
Dean M."


I may copy a few more during the week.
Enjoy.

Fare well...

hey.
it's me.
thinking about
you.
all day.
remembering
your note that
said:
"I'm off. I'll be
in touch.
Please don't
worry.
Too much."
blessed to hear
your voice
before
you left,
my reply this time
was short...
Adios
and
Au Revoir.

Gorilla Caption Contest Voting...

1. ....oh for shits sake....

2. "Not tonight dear I have a headache."
Man I'm getting so tired of that crap.

3. What do women want?

4. lessee...where did I leave the keys to that vine, anyway?

5. Tarzan, my ass.

6. What does Brad Pitt got that I sooo don't got?


Leave the number of your favorite caption in the comments.
You have until 10 pm Wednesday to vote.

Thank you to all who submitted captions!


UPDATE: FIVE votes? FIVE? C'mon, you guys. Pony up!

Voting results.... Berry is the winner, with Number 4.

Gorilla my dreams...

I love this photo... it says .......Pondering....... all over it.
Photographer is Ralph Rankin.
Met him at the art festival last weekend.
He also does some wonderful work in pottery.

Maybe we should have a caption contest? Huh? Yeah?
Leave your ideas in the comments. Somehow we or I
will pick a winner. I'll even give a prize to the winner.
Let's do it!

UPDATE: Get all your captions in by 10 pm Tuesday.
I'll figure out some voting thing so a winner can be
picked.

Pick a favorite...

Sparrow will be tallying the votes in her haiku
contest at 10 pm tonight.

my entry:

Still here, still breathing.
Awake enough to know how
blessed my life is still.


The winner gets a care package sent, in their name,
to one of our soldiers serving in harm's way.

Thanksgiving...

Sgt. Hook has posted... he is on his way home,
after fifteen months in Iraq! Wish him well.

Sparrow's haiku topic for the week is:
THANKSGIVING. Let her know what the
day means to you. Deadline 10 pm tonight.


Today, I give special thanks for all of my
family and friends, my life thus far and the
confidence that our beautiful country will
find the good path so that we all may continue
to be blessed with a life unlike any other
on the planet.

Thank you all for blessing me with your
friendship and love.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pencil-thin penis...

Sunday morning I headed west to meet a
friend at an outdoor art festival.

Around here, it's a good idea to stay alert for
critters that might wander from the woods to
the edge of the road. Deer, gators, bears and such.

The only deer I saw was a small white-tail lying
dead in the weeds. Poor thing.

The deep ditch was about half full of water but I
saw no signs of gators. This time.

I did see a wild turkey strutting his stuff but he was
heading back to the woods, so no worries there.

About a quarter mile past the turkey I spotted something.
It was an upside-down turtle, about the size of a big
salad bowl, and his stubby legs were spinning
like propellers.
He was trying to right himself but he had nothing to
brace against and all he was succeeding in doing was
miring himself deeper into the sand. He couldn't even
get a good rocking motion going to roll over.
That turtle was going to be stuck there, upside down
forever, unless someone flipped him over.

I hit my turn signal, eased off the pavement and stopped.

I'd had no prior dealings with big turtles. Well, except
for the time one dug under the fence and made a hole
about three feet deep in the front yard...but, that's another
story for another time, perhaps.

So... I got out of the car and walked slowly toward the
panicky reptilian critter... while keeping alert for snakes.
I hate snakes.

The turtle's head was pointed toward the edge of the road,
so I'm thinking that I should spin him around before I
roll him over so he doesn't trot onto the asphalt and
get splattered by the traffic zipping by at 60 mph.
That would suck. Especially for him.

How did I know the turtle was a him?

I was about six feet away when I saw his head and
all four feet disappear......ssshhhhwoooooppp.
Sucked 'em right into his shell. Gone.
And then, I saw it.

His skinny, pink penis was protruding from, well,
where most pink penises are expected to be
protruding from. (Looka dat. Did I manage to get a
dangling participle and a preposition on the end of
that sentence? Whatever. Could it be I just invented
the 'dangling penis-ciple' ?)

Now I am in a bit of a conundrum you see, because I
have nothing to touch him with. How am I going to
move him?

I'm not going to put my foot where his head can pop
out and clamp on my toe. That leaves the other end.
The dangling penis-ciple end.
OK, I think to myself, do it quickly.
Boomp! Spin. Dammit. Not enough.
Again. Boomp! Spin. Success!

Only now, the little pink penis is flapping back and
forth like a metronome. Flap Flap Flap Flap.
The bugger is waving at me.

I put my foot on the side of his shell and push to get
him rocking a bit. He's surprisingly heavy.
Rock Rock Rock, Push! Foomppp. It's done. Yay.
He just lays there on his belly. No head, no legs.
I wait.
I back up.
I back up farther.

Finally, the head and appendages begin to protrude.
He stands up, looks around a bit, and I cannot help
but notice... the penis-ciple is still dangling.
Dragging in the sand. He stops.
He stretches his hind legs to raise his back end and
the skinny pink penis slowwwwwwwly returns to its
hiding place. Then he ambles so very casually toward
the ditch.

That's it, fella. You are on your own.

I get back in my car and make my way to the art show.
It was a great art show.
Not one penis on display, however.

I have questions...

Sometimes, I ponder too much and scare myself.

I spent a few hours catching up on my blog reading.
I'd been kinda feeling a little sorry for my stupid self.
Not so much now.

Just in my small corner of our blogosphere, I am
reminded that way too many good people are dealing
with nasty medical treatments, disabling diseases,
post-surgical recovery, surgeries in their future,
family and friends away from home facing dangers
while serving in the military, financial crises, jobs
in danger, currently unemployed... on and on and on.

Do you ever think that we are one big mistake?
I mean all of us, homo sapiens, in general.

Could we be rejects from another galaxy?
The trash of the universe and beyond?
What would this planet be like without us?

We are basically greedy and destructive.
What have we done to make our home better?

No, I am not a tree-hugging hippy.

I simply do not understand the huge amount of misery
that continues to grow exponentially, with no
end in sight.

Isn't our government in a multi-gazillion dollar deficit?
How can they keep writing checks for grossly huge
amounts of money to give to the already grossly rich
and why do those checks not bounce?
Where does the money for those checks come from?

They can't be getting it from my account. Trust me.
Besides, if I wrote a check from my account when it
was in a deficit state, I would then be charged more
money as a punishment for daring to do such.

Am I stupid? (Don't answer that too harshly, please.)

I have a friend who is an owner/partner in a
manufacturing company. 40% of their business is
supplying to the U.S. automotive industry.
My friend's business was the low bid on a recent
contract for a much-touted new vehicle.
They did not get the contract because that particular
U.S. auto-maker is taking a chunk of bail-out money
to Korea for production. Out. Of. The. Country.

One of my brothers works for Dana Corp.
They are another huge supplier for the automotive
industry. My brother told me that his facility has
been laying off production workers every week for the
past six weeks. He is, not surprisingly, concerned
about his own job and his family's future.

Hundreds of teachers in Florida got laid off this year.

A friend in Kingston, N.Y. (retired from the Postal Service
after 33 years) said the Postal Service is looking at
laying off 16,000 employees. First time in its history.

And, answer me this... WHY do so many people
act like the economic sonovabitch crisis just
started happening YESTERGODDAMNDAY???

Anyone who has been reading my sorry excuse
of a blog for more than a year (wonders never cease),
know that the manufacturing company I work for
has been going through turmoil for a long time.
Last November 30th was the first lay-off in the current
economic downslide. Then, again, in early February
of this year. Then... we all worked 32 hour weeks this
summer.

We went back to forty hours a week in September.

Our biggest customer is a major manufacturer in the
...wait for it... COMPUTER CHIP INDUSTRY.

My department welds for the aerospace and oil industries.
Not enough to make up for the other dickwad department
or our company's owners who have wet dreams about
sending even more of our work to their lovely facility in
SINGAPORE. Where our biggest customer (the computer chip
dickwads) are opening their very own NEW FACILITY.

Out. Of. The. Country.

My employer has never ever ever announced ahead
of time their decision to lay off more employees.
Until this week.

First, they are extending the Thanksgiving holiday,
meaning a short paycheck unless we want to borrow
from vacation time accrued for next year. No thanks.
Same thing for Christmas. Happy New Year.

The lay-off will be sometime before December 22.
Because, ya know, we need to get LOTS of work done
for them before they can excise anyone from the
payroll. Office staff will be affected, also.
Just a little top-heavy there. Something like two or
three office people for everyone of us blue-collar schmoes.

All employees who might still be working here will
be back on the 32-hour work schedule for at least the
first quarter of the year and more than likely through
the first half. With a strong nod to another lay-off if
things don't pick up quickly next year.
Get right on that, ok?

I forgot to ask if this means the owners and investors
will forgo their usual quarterly and annual bonuses.
Yeah, right.

You are probably getting really tired of reading about
the instability of my work environment for the past
year and a half. I'm tired of writing it.

I have no idea if it will hit me this time or next or
not at all. They refused to give numbers.

I did tell one of the managers that, if it gets me, I will
take some sadistic pleasure in knowing that they will
be left with some of the laziest, sorriest, cheatingest
poorest excuse of employees in the hemisphere.
He almost chuckled.

Was that mean of me?

Haiku - Cold...

Small bumps on the front
of my sweater mean it's time
to turn up the heat.


I almost forgot Sparrow's contest this week!
Deadline 10 pm Wednesday.

Then go see Dr. Zeus and add a lymeric about SNOW.

UPDATE: vote for the best haiku at Sparrow's.
Deadline is 10 pm Thursday.

I saw a falling star tonight...

and made a wish.

If I tell, will it jinx it?

the Haiku Lady calleth...

*
It is time, once again, to crank the ol' brain gears
for one of the best peeps on the planet.

Sparrow has chosen a most timely topic for this
week's Haiku Contest:

......MONEY............

Deadline to submit your brilliance is 10 pm Thursday.

Go forth and make change! (sarcasm, folks, sarcasm)


my entry:

Invest in yourself.
Take care of your life and loves.
Returns that sustain.

ATTENTION! ...go back to Sparrow's place to vote
for your favorite haiku for the week. Please.

I'm blonde...

...it's either walk OR chew gum.

My brain feels like a pinball machine.
Ya know...Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!

Dozens of ideas bouncing around at the same
time and nothing reaching completion.

The new venture is progressing at a pace that
would frustrate a friggin' snail.
Supplier issues and errors mean I will probably
miss the benefit of my products being available
for this holiday season.

The venture products?
Coffee mugs, t-shirts and what I am calling 'Frame-ables'.
The details involved to get this organized and working
are what have kept me occupied. More like overwhelmed.

However, I am determined to do it and do it right.

Just wanted to touch base with those of you who keep
checking in here. I have not forgotten any of you.
I hope to have something worth posting very soon.

Love in the age of us...

Breathing together
in coordinated rhythm.
Making room
without thinking.
Seeing through
each others' eyes.
Standing alone
together.
Sharing your pain.
Living your joy.

So...

are you
a noisy lover
do you scream
and haw
or do you
bite your lip
and hold your
breath

Superior Scribbler Award...

Mark graced me with an award. Thank you, dear!

(I'm still trying to figure out how to load the image. duh)

He got his award from Becky.

I am supposed to pass the award to five other bloggers.
Crap. I can easily come up with ten or twenty or more.

I'll go with these this time...

Bill and Bob's

Hoosier Boy

Irrelephant

Maiden

Erica

These five are supposed to give the award to five
of their favorite scribblers.

Limericks are not my forte...

but, I'll give it a try for Dr. Zeus
and his contest at his blog 'William the Coroner'.

He gave a choice of two topics... Primate or Prime Mate.

my entry:

There once was a great ape named Harry,
who was searching for his soul mate to marry.
He traveled the world,
visiting zoo after zoo,
but tearfully cried "They're too hairy!"

William awards a care package sent to one of our
soldiers serving in harm's way.

We have until Friday to make this interesting. Go.

What a great Saturday...

This weekend in these parts is BiketoberFest.

Bunches and bunches (estimated 100,000) of
two-wheelers roaring into and around town for
most of three days.

Of all the tourist types we get every year, I like
these folks the most.

This time it was super-extra-special because one
of my most favoritist people in da woild rode his bike
from Jacksonville and took time to visit with me.

Mick and I had lunch and chatted and laughed for, oh...
about three hours on the beachside. Helluva great time.
He has a real purdy bike but since I am a chicken shit
with anything that has less than three wheels, he did his
cruising first and saved the best for last. Meaning, me.
I hated to see him go.

Hey, Mick... we still need to meet up at Cross Creek sometime, too.

Thank you for a wonderful day, my friend.

People do not change...

they only change what they do.

Light haiku...

Obviously, experiencing brain-fartitis tonight.

If you are reading this after 10 pm Wednesday, then
you are too late to enter Sparrow's Haiku Contest
for this week, at least.

The chosen topic is ...LIGHT...

My entries:

awake from dreams, my
fear is soothed as full moon beams
pierce midnight shadow.

and,

Blonde is light. Light is
good. Therefore, blonde is good, right?
Nothing more needs said.


Apologies to all for my tardiness. However,
tomorrow you should all remember to go
back to All Atwitter so you can vote for your
favorite haiku. ok? Please?

Sweet victory...

Beyond true young,
yet refusing old,
I claim my life
as won.

the Doctor's Limerick Contest...

William the Coroner has a limerick contest
alternating with the weeks of Sparrow's haiku
contest. This week is his turn.

He is accepting entries through Friday of this
week and he is also awarding a prize of a care
package to one of our soldiers serving in harm's way.

Go here and let him be dazzled by Jean's people.

Invisible wounds...

Elizabeth's sister
isn't the same anymore.
Her husband went to war.

He came back whole
but aching inside.
He sits in shadow
and cries.

"There's no one left." says he.
"I'm still here." says she.
"I can hear their pain."
"Your son wants to play."
"This isn't what he should see."

"We want you at home. Please,
don't leave us alone."
"I'll be back when I can."
The door closed.

Elizabeth's sister
isn't the same anymore.
She sits in shadow.
And cries.

Haiku of You...

Sparrow is back from Switzerland and is
reorganizing her weekly haiku contest.
'Cept now, it's every other week, alternating
with William the Coroner and his limerick contest.

Her topic for this week is YOU.
That's right. Make a haiku about yourself.

Wonder if mine should be with or without meds?
hmmm...

My entries:

You (me)...

I am creating
my own niche in life since I
don't fit what I see.
***********************

The things that make me,
me, are possibly the same
things that you can't stand.
************************

I am one of you,
of us, of them, striving for
my identity.

UPDATE: Please go visit Sparrow's again and
vote for your favorite haiku before 10 pm tonight.

the Froth is back...

and has survived Hurricane Ike.

Bane needs prayers...

Go to his daughter's blog
or follow the link from Chromed Curses.


UPDATE: Bane passed away this morning.

WEDNESDAY UPDATE: LL has set up a PayPal account on
Bane's blog so donations can be made to help his family with
the medical expenses from his last days in the hospital.
Please do what you can.

Busier than usual...

Between work, home stuff and the new venture,
I haven't had the time or energy to write enough
to amount to much.

My organizational skills are nothing to brag about.

If you've noticed, though, I still make time to
visit all of you at least once a day and sometimes
leave a comment.

Don't give up on me completely.
My shit is kinda sorta almost together.

ta-ta for now...

Still...

sometimes I
forget your
birthday but
every day I
remember you.

Midnight...

burdens
on my soul
weigh heavy
most at night.
what is carried
dark and soundless
reiterates
the feeling...
more alone
than by myself,
more alone.

Two of my favorite blogs...

have posted a video made by an American soldier
who served in Iraq. It is his message to the Democratian
candidate for President.

Jimbo and Lawdog.

Guaranteed goosebumps.

Watch it all the way to the end.

Are ya kiddin' me?...

since when are
people picky
when all they are
is horny?

Do it...

think.
hope.
maybe.
erase the maybe.
Leap.

Haiku at Sparrow's...

.
...........LIES.............

In the end, when you
are gone anyway, the pain
of truth would hurt less.



Vote for your favorite by 10 pm Thursday.

update: looks like I won.

Character...

strong
yet subtle.
forward
yet discreet.
hidden
yet known.

pillar.
roof.
foundation.

I think I forgot...

to mention that work has picked up.
We are back to forty hours for everyone and they
even asked a few of us to work some OT this week.

They are saying this might only last through October
but I'll take what I can get for right now and worry
about later...someday. Maybe.

It's good timing for me. Those short checks were starting
to get a tiny bit painful. Meds can only do so much, ya know.

And...I am working on a new venture. No details right now
because I don't want to jinx it. Silly, perhaps, but I promise
to tell all if it actually gets going and I see good results.

Have a great Sunday.
I hope to have a silly post later today.

Visit some of my friends...

Larry has a great Barnyard Tale.

Big Tobacco is in the Army serving in Iraq.

Enigma remembers his father.


Enjoy...

Lazy, hazy, crazy haiku...

Sparrow's topic for this week's HAIKU CONTEST is

..............SUMMER...........

sweat, sweat and more sweat.
excuse me, I should have said;
glow, glow and more glow.


Submit your entry by 10 pm Wednesday.

Then you can go outside and play.

UPDATE: vote for your favorite no later than 10 pm Thursday!

I have nothing to complain about...

Mick is in north Florida.
He had eight trees fall and at least two more are
leaning and on their way down. House, luckily, was
missed but the fence is trashed.

He posted pics... go look.

He also posted a map of Gustav, on its way to Haiti
and possibly following the same path as Fay. Dammit.

Sunshine...

.
I'd say the storm is done here. Mostly.
Still breezy and half cloudy but better. Much better.
Florida should be looking like a prune about now.

I need to check on Mick and Joan and some others.
After that, if you need me, I'll be in the yard picking
up sticks. Such fun.

Thanks to all of you who keep checking in here.
Such wonderful friends I have.
I'll try to be back before the weekend is over.

Tropical Storm Abby Normal...

What can you say about a storm that won't go away?
Someone needs to do a reverse rain dance. Srsly.

Last night here was pretty wild. Lots of wind and rain.
Today was somewhat calmer but it never stopped
raining until about an hour ago.
Supposedly, we were in the eye all day today.

It's almost unheard of for a storm to linger over land and
strengthen. Over land is usually when it weakens and
breaks apart. But, noooooooooooo... not Fay.
And, she's only been moving at an average of 3 mph, so
it's taking her foreverrrrrrrrrrrr to get this crap over with.

We're supposed to get the back half of the storm tonight.
More wind and rain. Oh boy.
My neighborhood has actually had less activity than the
surrounding areas.
I work less than five miles from home. They lost two trees
sometime last night. Well, they didn't lose them.
They fell over.
My yard is full of tree trash from the four oaks and I have
some damp spots in the living room ceiling.

Schools are closed tomorrow again. Work goes on unless
tonight is worse than expected. All in all, I'm OK.
Many thanks to all who are keeping tabs on me.
Such sweeties ya'll are.

Now, I'm going to ask that you go to Sparrow's and vote
for the best haiku. Pretty please. Thank you.

I need to make this quick...

We're having power surges and I'm hearing
transformers exploding in the distance.
Could be a rough night.

In the meantime, write some haikus for Sparrow.

POWER...
You might break my heart.
It will recover stronger.
Can you say the same?

Cut-off time is 10 pm tonight.

I'll be around as I can.

You can't have mine...

life loved
every minute
every day.
get your own.

Storm a'comin'...

Looks like we might be getting wet this week.

Mick has a weather map posted of the predicted path.

I'm almost one hundred miles south of him, which also
puts me in that ugly northeast quadrant of the storm
which has the highest winds and the most twisters.

They're only expecting a Category 1 storm, though, which
puts the winds at 74 mph and a bit higher. Not really that
big a deal unless you have lots of tall trees around your house
like Mick does. (Fingers crossed for you, friend.)

Oh. Wait.
I have four very large oak trees in my yard.
Three of which curl over my roof. That could be an oops.

There isn't much to do except stock up on necessities like
canned goods and bottled water. And clear the yard of
anything that might become a projectile in the wind.

It's all a guessing game with a little bit of technology thrown in.
We won't really know until it gets here. Or doesn't.

I probably won't be posting much until I see what's what.
And, I really really really hate that damned phrase the
weather people love to use to death... hunker down.
Stop it already.

UPDATE: Mick just did an 8 pm weather update.
Looks like we'll be fine this time. Probably.

Patriotism...

I found this quote on LL's site...

"Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion,
but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime."
Adlai Stevenson

Then I went to Kat's blog because she embodies the
truth of the quote. Amazing woman.
It's our turn to offer her some support. She is facing
knee surgery and a long recuperation time.
Let her know we care about her as much as she cares
about our country and the soldiers who protect it for us.

enuffa dat...

Let's do Haiku!

The topic Sparrow picked for this week's contest is: OLYMPICS.

You have until 10 pm tonight to be brilliant.


My entries:

Five rings united.
All eyes of the world watching.
Who is best of best?

*******

Ping pong. Ping pong pong.
Are steroids really needed
for slapping your balls?

UPDATE: Vote for your favorite by 10 pm tonight.

UPDATED UPDATE: Tied for First Place! heh.

Blog space, Part Deux...

(Scroll down to the post below for the first half of this.)


OK, then, where was I? Oh, yeah... therapy, etc.

About six months after being discharged from the first
batch of therapy sessions, I decided that being cranky
wasn't fun. For me or anyone around me.
I called the psychologist and made an appointment.
He professed to being shocked that I was back because he
thought I was doing so well when he ended the first series
of sessions.

You see, even professionals can be fooled if the patient is
adept at saying the right things and acting happy. If the
patient isn't completely honest about their life, thoughts,
moods, attitudes, activities... well, pretending wins awards
for actors, doesn't it? I was very good at pretending and
being very convincing. Up to a point.

So, this time I told the truth. He was obviously shocked.
He said he wanted to refer me to a psychiatrist so I could
be evaluated and prescribed medication. An anti-depressant.
I said no again. He took a deep breath and began a lecture.
Basically, he said that because I had hit such low lows, I was
a danger to myself and if I didn't agree to follow his advice
this time he would take steps to override my objections for
my own good. For my own safety.

He was threatening me with the Baker Act.
I could feel my blood boil. And then I broke down in tears.
I left his office with a referral and a week later I had a Rx for
Paxil. It took almost a month to do its job and clear my head.
It felt like a very, very long month.
He discharged me from therapy after about two months but I
continued to see the psychiatrist every three months until he
released me but said to continue with the meds. I took it
religiously for about five years and did well. Then, I read about
some of the long-term side-effects and began to wean myself
off the drug very slowly. I continued to do well, without the meds,
for almost another five years.

Then the Black Dog started making visits again. Each visit got
a little bit darker and lasted a little bit longer. Damn.

I tried a couple of new therapists. Not much help. buh-bye.
I refused meds with them, too. Can you say denial?

Stop.
I need to jog back a bit. It will make sense, trust me.

Do you remember when I went to the shooting range?
(Go to the March 2007 archives.)
I really did want to learn about shooting a gun and self-defense.
But, there were other reasons.
I had a weird curiosity about wanting to know what my
husband heard when he shot himself in the head. Yeah, weird.
We never had a gun. I'd never held one, let alone shot one.
I did well that one time at the range and I had fun.
I was surprised that no one ever asked me if I ever went back
or if I actually purchased a gun.
I did a lot of serious thinking about owning a gun. I decided that
it was not a good idea for me. Possibly not ever.

You see, I also learned that it was easy. And quick.
It didn't leave any time to change your mind once you put
pressure on the trigger. No room for an oops.
I don't want to do that to myself. Or to anyone who cares about me.
Family or friends. I've been on that side and it sucks.

So, when the demons continued to visit on occasion, I continued
to fight them. I would dodge and weave and hide. But, it got to the
point that all my energy was being taken up with dodging and
weaving and hiding. It started pissing me off.
When I realized that I was pissed damn near all the time, I called
my regular every day doctor. I explained what I wanted and why.
He did not hesitate to comply. Bless him.

I've been on another anti-depressant for a month now.
After two weeks, I realized that I wasn't pissed at the world.
Oh, I still get angry at times but, it's for a good reason and the
feeling passes as it would for anyone else. But, I no longer spend
every waking hour ready to explode. I am rational.
I am beginning to enjoy life again. I have hope again.

I was also terrified that medication would somehow stop me
from writing anything else of any worth. That didn't happen, either.

If you are not snoring by now... thank you.
And thank you all for not giving up on me.

Life is good.
I'm not ready to get off this ride just yet.

Just taking up blog space...

A bit of rambling that may have little to do with anything.

Most of my long-time readers are aware that I have
dealt with depression, off and on, for quite a while.
It took me a long time, some therapy and serious soul
searching on my own to realize that it's been present in my
life for more than thirty years.

Clinical depression is not a choice.
It is not a spoiled brat whining for attention and hoping to be
excused from life responsibilities. Often, it cannot be explained
by life situations or circumstances. However, it can be exacerbated
by stressors. It is often accompanied by feelings of guilt when the
current bout of depression has no clear reason. That can cause a
rather vicious cycle of overwhelming frustration. More guilt.
Deeper depression. Emotional paralysis. Withdrawal from life
activities. Deep sense of inadequacy and hopelessness.
Even a huge lack of physical energy.

This usually goes on for weeks then the mind will begin to clear
and life gets easier. Hope and motivation returns. For a while.
I'm not talking about the horrors of manic depression/bi-polar
rapid extreme cycles. Thank goodness that isn't me.

I was brought up to be strong, independent, self-sufficient, reliable,
never ask for help, take care of my own life... yada, yada, yada.

When I started to make mistakes in some of my life choices,
I was ashamed and rather surprised in my lack of perfection.
Why? FuckifIknow.
For some reason, I, in my naivete/ignorance expected to be
all-the-time happy, smart, productive, successful and loved.
No question. No doubt.
Why? FuckifIknow. Influenced by fairy tales and June Cleaver?

Anyway.

When my husband offed himself (eleven years ago yesterday), that
almost sent me over the edge. But, still I was determined to 'deal'
with all that brought to my life. By myself.
Let's just say that didn't work out very well.
I relented and started looking for help. First, in books about suicide
and depression. Then in a self-help group for people who lost loved
ones to suicide. That succeeded in making me angry, because ya know,
I wasn't like them. Surely, I was stronger and smarter and better...
riiiggghhht. Another perceived failure. Damn it, now what?

Insurance allowed visits with a psychologist. Co-pay was reasonable.
Appointment made, I showed up on time and sopped up a couple of
tissues in the first hour. Boo-hoo. Made another appointment.
After a few weeks, he suggested that I would benefit from medication.
Oh, no no no, says I. I can do this myself. No drugs for this woman.
Therapy continued, I was feeling better, he and I laughed a lot.
He discharged me after several months (when the allotted insurance-
approved visits ran out). I was fine (I thought) for about six months.
The demons returned in full force. I still can't completely grasp why
my employers did not can me, with plenty of good reasons, about a
hundred different times between then... and even now.

Side note: I found out about two years later, after my final final
therapy visit with this psychologist, that his wife had threatened
divorce after finding out that he had had affairs with more than
one of his female patients. I don't remember ever seeing a male
in his waiting room.

This is getting too long for one post. I'll continue in a day or so.

A frequent lurker...

I'm very curious about a lurker who's been visiting
for quite a while. Sometimes they stay for more than
half an hour. It appears that they have read through
all of my archives.

Place of origin is United Arab Emirates, Dubai.

I'd like to know who you are.
Leave a comment or email me at the address in my profile.

No reason why you can't...

.
It is time for Sparrow's weekly Haiku contest.

Submit your entry by 10 pm tonight.

The topic is: Insecurities.

Not enough, too much.
Not quite right, it never works.
No one fails like me.


Now it's Thursday... go vote.

Found a note from my muse...

"It's too hot to think. Heading north to cool off."

Bitch.

Blog hang-ups...

Some kind of issue between Exploder and sitemeter
causing blog access problems. Go to Lucy's for more info.

You can also go here Primordial Slack and here Velociworld.

Please extend condolences...

Desert Cat's father passed away this morning.

haiku owie...

Pain

Some things, simply, hurt.
A bruise, a twinge, slight misstep.
Some things tear your soul.



If you are too late to enter your haiku, then please
remember to go back to Sparrow's and vote on Thursday.
DEADLINE for voting is 10 PM.

UPDATE: WooHoo...I won!!

Far and away...

I attend well
to word and nuance.
form photos
in my mind
of your smile and
your eyes while
you tell me of
your day, and your life.
though nowhere near,
you are here
when I hear your voice
or see your words.

Childhood...

(for Sparrow's haiku contest)

all the joy of now
tomorrow not even thought
hey, come play with me!



read me a story.
the new puppy's tickling me!
I gotta go poop.

Deadline to vote for your favorite is 10 pm Thursday.

Aspergantus does it again...

Mick has a post that needs a big audience.
Follow the link at the end.

A tribute to our veterans.

letter to my Self...

stay with me
as I need you most
more than any other
in the present ever.
allow what is in me
to be
awake and seeing
all I am and have.

hot summer night...

a rivulet of sweat
undulates down your cheek
and neck,
makes its way
slowly over your
pulsing chest toward
your belly. I stop it
with my tongue
and you are hard again.

Welcome to...

Maiden Magnetic.

A new blogger who just happens to be Bane's daughter.
Quite the talented chip off the old block.

Beneficiary...

I think about you
almost never
these days.
much less than
once in a while.
funny that, don't
you think, all
those tears
washed my eyes
and let me see,
there is, after all,
life after left over.

Don't wait...

It's Haiku Wednesday at Sparrow's.

The topic this week is ANTICIPATION.

The deadline to submit your entries is 10 pm tonight.

Blogs of note...

For those who want serious information about publishing
your work in words, may I suggest these two blogs...

Behler Blog

How Publishing Really Works

shitshitshitIhatespiders!

Sunnavabeyotch.

So much for sleeping tonight. Anybody wanna chat?

I was so looking forward to some sweet slumber.
Took a nice, cool shower. Put on a clean white wife-beater.
Curled up on clean sheets, enjoying the fan blowing on me...
AND THEN... I see IT.

A long-legged, kinda brownish SPIDER at least five inches across,
on the wall under the window, no more than two feet from my face.
Who says size doesn't matter??

Some impressive freaking ensued.

Managed to run to the pantry without breaking a leg, grab a can
of something, return to the bedroom. Carefully. Slowly. Approach.
SPRAY!!!!!
The basstid runs across the wall... and falls. Ha! Take that!

Oh. Shit.

It's back on the wall. SPRAY. Fall.

Dammit, it's staggering up the side of the bed!
Fuck this. I'm going for the big guns.... HAIRSPRAY.
Hairspray and a clothes hanger to beat his ass.
SPRAY. SPRAY. SPRAY.

He falls again.

I verrrrrry carefully...still armed, mind you... peek over the
edge of the bed.

What do I see? A big pile of very sticky books.
No spider. Dammit.

I don't see it anywhere. Wait.
I hear a noise. Something is moving at the end of the bed.
Looking. Looking.
I see nothing. The noise stops.
I'm now standing in the middle of the bed, scoping the perimeter.
It's quiet. Still no visual on the arachnid.

If it isn't dead, it's very pissed. And sticky. And stiffening.
I hope.

So, now I'm sitting yoga-like on the corner of the bed farthest
from the last sighting. And not happy. Still armed.
Doing a repeated visual sweep of the entire room.
I now have a headache and I'm sweating.

Nothing. It's been an hour. No-thing!

Ain't no way in hayyyul this broad is closing her eyes tonight.
Gather up notebook, cigarettes, cell phone. Head to the computer room.
Make first cup of strong coffee.

I have to be at work...preferably alert... at seven ay em.
It is now 1:30 ay em.

Pity my co-workers.

Sunnavadamnbeyotch.

This is not October, is it?...

Shit, it's miserable-bad hot.
Well, more too humid than too hot, I guess.

Whatever it is, it's sucking any interest in posting here
right out the window.

Plus... a school chum came to town for the races this
weekend and is spending most of the week on the
beach. So, I've been visiting a bit with her and her friends.

I didn't mean to ignore you this long, my lovelies.
I'm a bad girl.

When does the spanking start?

Independence Day...

When we've finished the hot dogs and beer
and come home from watching the fireworks,
I highly recommend reading "The Long Road Home".

Have a good weekend.

Change your mind?...

It's haiku time at Sparrow's again.
No change there, heh.

Topic this week is CHANGE.
Deadline for your entry is 10 pm Wednesday.

UPDATE: Please go back to vote for your favorite.
Voting ends at 10 pm Thursday.

A dear, sweet man is gone...

Winston Rand, of Nobody Asked..., is gone.

He passed away Saturday.
His wife (Roomie) posted the notice.
Please go offer comfort to her.

I met him once in Nashville. Loved him instantly.
He was a dear friend who will be missed forever.

RIP sweet man...

Osmosis...

and there I see,
in you, and therefore
bring to me,
much love and
hope and reasons
why
this life, today, is
worth more time
and not yet ready, in
spite of grief, to stop
and say good-bye.

The internal grapevine of gossip and good tidings...

Every workplace has its rumors.

Since the last lay-off in February, a lot of time at work
has been spent trying to guess our future.
We got some news today in a meeting with one of the
head honchos.

Our biggest customer has cut back orders by 30 per cent.
Other customers have put a hold on some orders.
They are forecasting (hoping) that this downturn will reverse
itself in September. In the meantime, however, costs here
need to be cut somehow.

One of the measures that will be taken is to cut our work
hours from forty per week to thirty-two.
We're going to a four day work week. This includes everyone.

If we have vacation time left, we can use that to prevent
a short pay check. They are even giving us the option of
using our accrued vacation time for next year if we don't
have any left from this year. Or, we can take a short pay check
for the next eight weeks... all of July and August.

They admit to going this route in order to avoid another lay-off.
Of course, if business doesn't pick up enough in September,
they also said they will probably be forced to cut personnel then.

I'm choosing to take a short pay check for the next two months.
If business doesn't get better, I want my last check to include
whatever vacation time I might have at that time.

A short pay check now is still more than unemployment and it
still includes benefits like health insurance.
I can do this.

Considering the sucky condition of the economy throughout the
country right now, I appreciate this effort to keep us employed.
And, I made sure to say that to the head honcho after the meeting.


On a much lighter note... it is Haiku Wednesday at Sparrow's place.

This week's topic is HOME and the deadline is 10 pm tonight.

Novocaine brain...

mind
less
ness
hurts.

Depression...

is not
just another bad mood.
it is
day after day after day after day
talking myself out of
dying.

But not today.

Haiku mushiness...

This week's haiku contest topic is LOVE.

I got on a bit of a roll with this one.
I submitted five...

Betrayal kills love
as surely as a promise
brings it back to life.

***

It's like an old quilt,
worn, still holding together.
Providing comfort.

***

Love escapes again.
Perhaps it was never here.
Spent, I close the door.

***

lessons never learned
in a book of broken heart.
fail'd the test again.

***

My boobs are sagging.
Your ears are sprouting gray hairs.
Turn the light out, dear.

Sparrow changed the deadline to 10 p.m. tonight.
Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Would a brain enema...

be done
through an ear or
up the nose?

In an email from my sister...

Live your life in such a way that
when your feet hit the floor in the
morning, Satan shudders and says...

"Oh shit...she's awake!"

Sparrow's Haiku Contest...

topic: HEAT.

Animal rescue...

My dear friend, Mick, has a post I'd like my readers
to see.

His beautiful wife is the Director of a non-profit
organization, RCCAH. She is a veterinarian trying
to live her dream of saving helpless critters.

If you can help her help them, please do.

How do I love thee?...

Let me count the ways...
1.
...nevermind.

dit moi pourquoi...

a memory never was
but wished for.
dreams will never see
light of day.
tomorrow will be emptier
without one.
eventually,
everything goes away.

Make believe...

Let's pretend
we're an old
married couple,
Still in love and
still liking each other.
We know the
sweet spots
and the soft spots.
We can still find
the hot spots.
I'll cook your
favorite dinner.
We'll watch a
favorite movie.
...what do you mean,
it's getting late?
When did you join
a bowling league?

Remember Haiku...

The topic for Sparrow's Wednesday Haiku Contest:

MEMORIES

Three lines of five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.

Reflect, then write. You have until midnight tonight.


UPDATE: You know the drill, right?
You have until Friday morning to vote for your favorite, yo!

FRIDAY UPDATE: hey, homies...I won! yo yo.

Brain-wash, rinse & spit...

Don't know if this is a poem or just
my thoughts running away with my brain.
(or my brain running away with my thoughts? good grief.)
the wall is thick blocks
I'd prefer rocks, but I can't seem to change it.
protecting you from me
is best because it seems there is no good
purpose to knowing me.
it would confuse you and hurt you and
I've done too much of that already, so save yourself
the disappointment and
me the pain.
things won't change, will always be the same.
I have questions but don't
really want the answers.
Whether you know it or not,
neither do you.

Memorial Day perspectives...

In case you forgot to remember, read these...

Fat in Indiana

Kudzu

Ambulance Driver

Bill and Bob's Adventure

More birthday wishes...

Another sweetheart of the 'sphere is having a birthday.
Please, go visit Mick and wish him a good one.

When you get back, go to Sparrow's place and add your
haiku for this week's contest.
This week's topic is: WRITING.

I submitted two:

words unblock my heart.
out flow love and fear and pain.
safe, my face unseen.


can you read my tears?
pen to paper hesitate
not. words jump to life.

for a while, just pretend...

I'm not here.

What I am tempted to write, you would not
want to read.

One of those moods, ya know?

Ignore me and cruise through my blog roll.
Oh, and... today is Berry's Birthday.
Go over there and wish him well and ask him
to post more of his paintings, please.

Haiku and Update...

You guys do realize that I can only blog from
home, right? No net access from workee.

Your phone calls, emails and comments voicing
your concern and offers of help have touched
me deeply. Thank you all, so much.

We seem to be in the clear here for now.
Still smoldering some but, things are under control.


Now for more fun stuff...
It's Wednesday and Sparrow has chosen the topic for
her Weekly Haiku Contest: HEROES.

You only have until midnight tonight to submit your entry.
Get to it!

A little preoccupied...

Right now I'm paying more attention to
the local fire updates than blogging.

'scuse if I am not around as much for a while.

One of the big ones is only a few miles west of me.
Keep some fingers crossed, ok?

Since it has been many weeks since we've had any
lightning storms, the officials are on the look-out
for arsonists.
Let's hope this is not going to be a repeat of the summer
of 1998 when the whole state was on fire. That time, it
got within three blocks of my house.

I'd rather prepare for a hurricane.

Bad blind date...

one is lonely,
the other, not.
sometimes,
a crowd is
two.

You got nooooooo idea...

Clutter

Three dumpsters later
I can almost see the floor.
This has got to stop!


Click on the clutter link up there ^ and add
your mess to Sparrow's Haiku Contest.

Deadline is midnight tonight.

UPDATE: it is now Thursday. You have until Friday
morning to vote for your favorite haiku.

stalker...

when
no one's looking,
dreams are
haunting
the back of my brain like
shadows
that have no
edge.
I see
shadows.
Do they see
me?

Choices (haiku)...

I couldn't decide.
I waited too long for you
to make up my mind.

Pretty, pretty haiku...

Sparrow's Haiku Contest...

topic for this week is BEAUTY.

Leave your entry in the comments, then
go back and vote for your favorite.

p.s. she gives a prize to the winner!

Gray matter calisthenics...

Joan asked, "1. When did you say no, when you wished you
had said yes? and 2. When did you say yes, when you
wished you had said no?"

Well, now... 1. I flew home, to Ohio, for a visit. Mid '70s.
Spent about a week with friends and family, including
my maternal grandmother, who was dying. Cancer.
On my last day, my parents were driving me to the
airport and said they would stop by Grandma's so I
could say good-bye.
I freaked, burst into tears and said I couldn't handle
seeing her again. I knew it would be the last time.

Mom and Dad exchanged confused glances, but said
nothing and continued to the airport.

I barely regained enough composure to say good-bye
to them and get myself on the plane.

It was less than two months later when I got the call
that Grandma died. I flew back for the funeral.

I was her favorite. I will never forgive myself for not
seeing her one last time. I let her down.

2. I should have said 'no' when Michael asked me to
marry him. (Go to my archives for May 2007.)

Dianne asked, "1. Are you happy? 2.What is your
favorite color? 3.What color are your eyes?"

1. I am when I remember to pay attention. When I
remember to look clearly at my life and myself.
When I remember how blessed I am with friends and
family and good health and a sense of humor and enough
intelligence to make a living. And big boobs.
2. I don't have a favorite color. I love them all.
3. My eyes are green. Kind of a moss green.

Who knows...

Must you know me
or, just my words?
Do you know me
through my words?
Do you?

wahhhhhhhh-wah-oo-watusi...

Ear worm.

Making me crazy.

You're welcome.

In dreams...

angel's wings
of satin feathers
wrapping
'round you
like the arms
of someone
loving you
from far away.

Sparky, all grown up...

I didn't intend for these photos to be arranged this way.

Fuck it.

The one on top is Sparky being dwarfed by the

bougainvillea in the front corner next to the driveway.

Wish I had known it would become a monster.

(the bougainvillea, not Sparky.)

It's pushing on the fence and making the gate all wonky.

So much so, that Sparky can slip through the gate and go

galloping through the neighborhood. I'll be doing some

trimming in the hopes of saving the gate. For right now,

I've been using bungee cords to keep the dog contained.

Ain't that just all white-trashy?

The other photo is the crazy canine in the front yard, by the

confederate jasmine that is in bloom and covering the fence.

Yes, I know there are weeds in the yard. I don't care.

Weeds are green, too.

Further info re: my life.

Work is slow again. Not good.

No word from Tennessee, even after I sent them a thank-you

note after the interview. Perhaps their work has dropped, too.

Whatever.

More posting to come this weekend, using more of your questions.

Hidden Haiku...

The Haiku Challenge is on at Sparrow's.

This week's topic is: SECRETS.

Deadline for your entry is midnight tonight.

UPDATE: I submitted two for this week...


little bitty things
that can end up devouring
you from inside out.


If I tell you, I'll
have to kill you. And we don't
want that, now, do we?

Flip-flop...

Work.
Write.
Work.

Write.
Work.
Write.

Bits of childhood...

Lee asked, "Most vivid childhood memory, good or bad?"

Several moments came to mind right away.
All of them seem to be before my four siblings were born, so
we're talking about 1951 to 1955. Yeah, yeah...holy shit.

The first two are visually foggy. More sound and feel than photo.

First... I remember being in our living room. We had company, but
I have no idea who it was. I remember my dad laughing at me.
That much I can see... his face. And hear him laughing.
For some reason I was mortified by this and tried to leave the room.
He was sitting in a chair and reached for me as I tried to walk past him.
I can feel his arm wrap around my waist and pull me to him.
Still laughing. I can, to this day, feel the heat of my embarrassment.
It ends there.

Second... I feel myself sitting in my dad's lap and seeing the colors of
the Sunday comics. I think he was reading to me.

Third... I was NOT allowed to leave the confines of our fenced yard
without parental permission or being escorted by one of them.
However, across the street the neighbor boy had a swimming pool
set up in their yard. I don't remember actually walking there, but I
remember sitting on one corner of his pool with my bare feet in the
water.
Then, I remember seeing my dad walking across the street with a
yardstick in his hand. He must have just come home from work and
found me missing or saw me as he drove up the street.
Next, he is carrying me under his arm and probably smacking my butt
with the yardstick, although I don't remember that specifically.

Fourth... I am sitting at the dining room table.
My chin barely clears the top. I am listening to a record album playing
the story of "Sleeping Beauty". Mom and Dad are in the living room.
Suddenly, Mom throws the newspaper at Dad and runs to their
bedroom in tears. Dad follows her, but he is smiling.
He tries to open the bedroom door, but she has pushed the chest of
drawers in front of it to keep him out. I don't know how I know that.
I remember being scared and afraid to move. I think I cried.

Fifth... Dad raised Collies for a short time.
We had a beautiful female named Penny who Dad had had bred
to produce a couple of litters of pups.
Penny was sweet and gentle and was my protector.
Better than Lassie.
Dad didn't believe in spending the money to get her vaccinated.
She came down with distemper. I remember being in the backseat
of our Chevy, on my knees, looking out the back window.
What I was seeing was the brick building where we left her to be
put to sleep. A tree-lined country road. I was crying.

WWFS? (What Would Freud Say?)

I have an idea!...

Leave a question for me in the comments
and I'll try to schwangle (I just made that up)
a post out of 'em to break this freakin' dry spell.

It could work.
Maybe.


Update: Have I mentioned, lately, how much I love you all?
You're knockin' my socks off!
Oh, wait...I don't wear socks. But, you know what I mean.

You can't get here from there...

I will not
love you
this time.
Go away.
Stay away.
Come again
no other day.

Six Words Memoir Meme...

This meme originated at Smith Magazine and has now
reached my little blog world, thanks to Berry (Boneman).


The gist of it is... 1.) you're supposed to choose six words that
reflect your life. 2.) link back to the origin of the meme and to
the one that tagged you. 3.) add a photo for illustration, if desired.
4.) tag six more bloggers to participate.


The words I chose are not my own...


"Not all who wander are lost."


I knew the quote was from J.R.R. Tolkien, but I was curious about
the rest of the content. I found it here. It reads...

"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost;
the old that is strong does not whither, deep roots are not reached
by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the
shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken,
the crownless again shall be king."


...and, yes, I see that I am mis-quoting by one word. Too bad.
I still like it.

I am tagging Bane, Lee, Larry, Mick, HB, Joe.

Haiku view...

Don't forget Sparrow's Weekly Haiku Contest!

Sight...

Light at the end of
the tunnel gives me hope for
my dream coming true.

UPDATE: You have until noon Friday
to vote for your favorite haiku.

talk-talk...

She doesn't even know I'm alive...

Have you told her?

Told her what?

That you're alive.

I'm exhausted...

It was a great weekend except for the bad
ending after I got back to Florida.

~Landed in Nashville, picked up the rental car,
then had the pleasure and honor of meeting
Winston for lunch. Another Southern Gentleman
who is even more charming in person than he is
on his blog. Thank you, dear man. Repeat, ok?

~Drove to Cookeville, got settled in my hotel room
and called the HR manager. Made an appointment for
10 am Friday.

~The interview was more than I expected.
I talked to the HR Manager, the Production Supervisor
and the Engineering Manager.... for almost three hours.
Everyone there loves their job. Loves their boss.
The Engineering Manager was intrigued by my email
address. He googled it. He found my blog.
"So, you're a writer? You sounded pretty excited to come up here."
Yes. And yes.

I think it would be a great place to work. I think they liked me.
There is no pressure to be available right away. They understand
about needing to sell my house first.
They did not offer me a job yet. They said they would be in
touch soon.
Their pay range is comparable to where I am now, but I have
no idea what kind of rate they would offer to start.
I left there feeling good. Very positive.

The rest of Friday and most of Saturday I spent driving.
And driving some more. It's beautiful, even though it rained
almost every minute for three and a half days.
It actually reminded me of southern Ohio.... lots of rolling hills.
Fruit trees are in bloom everywhere, as well as daffodils, crocus,
forsythia, grape hyacinth and a few pink dogwood. True Spring.
Gorgeous.

I only took a few photos. I'll get them posted soon.

~Saturday I saw a realtor. Showed her the kinds of properties
I liked and told her what price range I would stay with.
She is going to email details of anything she thinks I would like.

~Now for the bad part of the weekend...
I should have been home by 6:30. Turned out to be after 9:30.
My car blew the radiator on the way home from the airport.
On Interstate 95, in the rain, about 75 miles from home.
I thought I had 'roadside assistance' coverage. Nope.
Tow truck = $310.
Shit.
I'll be using another vacation day tomorrow to get the car fixed.
I guess it can be fixed. I'm too tired right now to care.


p.s. the Spaghetti Monster did not get me... you crazy, sweet people.

UPDATE: got the car back this afternoon. $266 for the radiator.
Mechanic said they couldn't find any other problems. Yay!

Have a great weekend...

I'm off to Tennessee.
See ya Sunday night.

BOING! ...

ok, ignore my snarky title up there before Sparrow
bonks me with a coconut... she's in Hawaii, ya know.

Busy yourself with her Wednesday Haiku Contest.

This week's subject: SPRING.

boing,boing,boing...heh.

Intangible...

What I have
received
from you
cannot be
held
in my
hands.
It fills
my heart.

Made some plans...

I got tired of just thinking about it.
I want to see this place in person, damnit.

Thursday, this week, I am flying to Nashville
and renting a car to drive to Cookeville.
I emailed the company and asked if I might be
allowed to tour the facility on Friday. Of course,
I'm hoping they will say, "Why sure! And, as long as
you're here, stay around for an interview, too."

Got nuthin' to lose and a new life to gain.

If nothing else, I haven't had a vacation in a long time
and have never taken one by myself. I don't plan on doing
the usual tourist-y things this time. I want to look at the
area from the perspective of what it would be like to live there.

Fingers crossed, my friends... fingers crossed.

Haiku me, baby...

The weekly haiku contest at All Atwitter...

Topic: PASSION

Deadline, midnight.


my entry...

It's gone and I don't
care. It wore me out for naught.
Pleasure not worth pain.

One of us needs some help...

Usually, the people with the biggest hearts
and the people who are first to offer help to
others, are the last ones to ask for anything
for themselves.
Erica and her parents need her friends now.
Their beloved cat, Maya, is very sick and the
treatments are very expensive.

Please, do what you can.

FYI...

I've been remiss in noting some changes on my
blog roll. Some of my favorites have new addresses...

Mark is now Abbadon here,
Steph calls herself Death Chic(k) here.
Freddie got rid of her Warts.
Tammi moved here.
Maricopa Mark is now Cactus Mark.
T1G has streamlined his site here.

If I missed anyone... holler at me so I can fix your link.

Hello, my name is Jean and I am 57 years old...

today.

Not a bad day at all.

My boss baked a birthday cake for me.
One of my best friends gave me a book about Tennessee.
At the end of our shift, another co-worker gave me a birthday
card that all my co-workers signed.
Took myself to a wonderful restaurant for dinner and margaritas.
Got several phone calls and emails from siblings and friends.
Bought and watched the movie 'No Country For Old Men'...
loved it.
Bought and started reading a book Sparrow recommended a
while back, 'Eat, Pray, Love'... love it.
Found out I'm going to get flowers tomorrow from a very special friend.

A day full of love and good wishes. What more could a woman want?
ok, ok... a really good lay would have been the candle on the cake.
Maybe next year.



ooooohh... almost forgot.
GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER
IN TENNESSEE.
THEY WANT TO SET UP A PHONE INTERVIEW!!!!
ASKED WHEN I MIGHT BE WILLING TO RELOCATE!

What a birthday, eh?

Snifffffff, ahhhhh...

The haiku topic at All Atwitter is SCENTS.

You have until midnight tonight to submit your
three-line odoriferous opinion.

Then, go back on Thursday to vote for your favorite.

you love strawberries...

you told me
once
that I taste
better
than strawberries.

Kindness and Compassion...

A beautiful piece of art that is helping an
entire community. Read the story that goes with it.

Follow the links to the artist collection and gallery
to see his other works.

h/t to Tammi.
Read her post "Handled With Dignity".

I hate socks...

feet are cold.
toes are blue.
ought to put
some socks
on you.

*sigh*
Is this the best I can do? Yes.

It feels like my writing soul is dead and there is no reason why.
Life is actually not too bad right now.

The new owners had a meeting with all of us this week.
Positive words were spewed that made the future there
look like it will last longer than another month or two.

Seems that we peons were fed some serious mis-information
by the in-between white-collar people. Schmucks.

The plan really is... a major renovation of our building, to
include lots of new equipment. Serious focusing on acquiring
new work. Diversify. Improve. Make money.
duh. Isn't that the purpose of most businesses?

They do not want us to go away. They want us to get better.

What this does for me is remove the panic factor.
I can research and plan a life change in a timely manner.
I can expect regular paychecks to continue for a while.
(No one can guarantee anything forever.)
I have a nice amount of vacation time that I can use to
make some trips to calmly check out other options.

I hope to spend a few days in Tennessee to do just that...
later this month, after I rack up a bit more overtime to
cover the cost of gasoline and a motel or two.
No... I haven't heard anything from the resume, yet.
I still feel that something is going to work out, though.
It may just be something I haven't considered yet, so I
am keeping myself open to input from the Universe.

I do have this vision of what, in my perfect little idealistic
romantic world, I would really, really want to happen.
It's that impossible dream that cannot come true.
Or, can it?

If I can write it out without sounding like a cross between
Pollyanna and Julie Andrews, I'll post it.

It is so very nice to breathe easier again. For now.

Haiku Genealogy

The topic for this week's Haiku Contest
at Sparrow's place is: RELATIVES.

Get over there before midnight tonight.
Listen to your Mother!


UPDATE: now, go back to Sparrow's and
vote for your favorite haiku from this week.
Mine is one of the finalists. Yay!

Silence...

there is no
understanding
of words left
unrevealed.
held in heart
inside the dark
bitter roots
take hold.

beer : thirty...

Friday.
Three in the freezer.
Fifteen in the fridge.

Haiku Heaven...

You have until midnight to submit your haiku entry
at Sparrow's blog.

The topic this week is HEAVEN.

Fortune cookies...

Weekend before last, I decided to pick up some Chinese
food for dinner.
The owner likes me. She always throws something extra
in the take-out bag. This time it was a free bottle of water
and extra fortune cookies. Not being a big fan of fortune cookies,
I didn't open them right away. When I finally got around to
feeding them to Sparky and reading the fortunes, this is what
I found:

*Never bring unhappy feelings into your home.

*Your happiness is before you, not behind you. Cherish it.

*Keep in mind your most cherished dreams of the future.

*Be prepared for a sudden, needed and happy change in plans.

Just wanted to share this with all of you.
I thought it was pretty cool.

(no response yet from sending the resume.)

no news...

Sorry to keep you guys hanging...

Resume' is being updated.

Work here is getting worse.
They spent most of this week sending more of
our jobs to their facility in Singapore.
I predict another lay-off in the next couple of weeks.
Nothing official, just my guess.
I'm ok with it. I can handle it.

There may not be a lot here for a while, but I'll
let you know what's going on as it happens, if anything.

Fingers crossed.

Thank you all for being so wonderfully supportive.

UPDATE: emailed the resume at 11:00 pm tonight.

Thank you, Mick.

Job browsing update...

omgomgomg...

Got a wonderful email reply to my inquiry.
They have positions open.
They said they are anxious to learn more about
me and my work experience and... they asked for
my resume' !
Also included several informative links about the
community and surrounding area.

holyshitholyshitholyshit...

update: here's a link to Cookeville, TN.

My dear friend, Boneman...

Berry is a wonderful painter.
He has, actually, many creative sides to him.
He loves to make videos, complete with music
and other sound effects.
Berry posted a few videos on his blog today;
one with food and one of some of his paintings.

The one that made me laugh, though, is the one
with a target in it. My first (and only) attempt
at shooting. Go take a look.

Step 1...

...make an appointment to get my car checked and
take care of anything that needs fixin'.

It's going to need to be road worthy for at least one
or two trips in the near future.

Near future... has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?


UPDATE: Just sent an email inquiry to a company
in Tennessee. They do the exact same kind of work
I've been doing for 12+ years.

I suck...

This shall be known as my brain-vacant phase.

Not even enough gumption to let you know that I
have had nothing to offer. I am a shit.

Every time, lately, I've tried to create, compose, or
flesh out what is already in process, my brain rewards
me with the feeling you get when you hear fingernails
scraping across a blackboard.

Do they even make blackboards anymore??
Does anyone use blackboards anymore??
How many of my faithful readers have no idea of what I speak?
Terrific. I just made myself feel old(er).

I am facing the necessity of some serious life changes.
I am trying to take on the positive attitude that these changes
could be/should be the beginning of a good/better time in my life.
The process required to make this happen scares me.
Risk *shudder* Gamble *shudder*.
How does one go about embracing the unknown at my age?
I hate it. But I want it.

Frozen in fear does me absofuckinglutely no, I repeat, NO good.
I need to make that leap of faith. I know it.

Deep breath...

Tipping point...

I walk the
edge, and wonder
what would make
me fall.
Peer into the
darkness, and ask
what pulls me
back.

Float a haiku...

Sparrow's haiku contest has begun.

This week's topic is WATER.

You have until midnight tonight to
submit your three-line entry. Go!


UPDATE: I left three entries this week.

People through your life
ebb and flow, in and out, like
the tide moves on shore.
......................

My boobs are my own
mae west, keeping me afloat
in the hotel pool.
.........................

much to my chagrin
the icemaker is broken.
my thirst goes unquenched.

Lay-off #2...

Lost five more production workers this morning.
That leaves six people below me.

So, for now... still here, still breathin'.

Sadly mistaken...

and I said
I would stay.
and I said
I would wait.
and I said
I would love forever.
that may have been
what did me in.

Blushing...

Mark, from 'Knocking On the Golden Door', has
graced me with an award.
Shucks.

He says I am an EXCELLENT poet.
I respected his opinion even before now. Really.

Visit his blog and see with what kind of EXCELLENT
company he has included me in to by over there. yah.

He's a California person. He might even show you photos
of some of his favorite things.... tattooed ass-cracks.

thank you, Mark.

Untitled...

a stranger
was me
very long ago.
a stranger
is me
as much today.

Haiku Wednesday...

You have until midnight tonight to submit your
haiku at Sparrow's blog.

The topic is REGRETS.


the list is too long.
makes me cringe and want to hide.
so much time has passed.

ain't nothin'...

so,
an afterthought,
if that.
not even a
backward glance.
one more
disposable toy.

The Bucket List...

The list of things you want to do before
you kick the bucket.

Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.

Awesome movie.

Re-posting from October...

I think Alan would have liked this...


Not good-bye...

If I should die
before you wake,
grieve not for could
or would.
Rejoice, instead, for had
and did
and heard, and saw
and touched.
Be glad for was,
not sad for never.
Whatever was
cannot be gone.
I'm with you now...
forever.

This Moment...

One of my favorite blog authors passed away this week.
Alan Edwards' blog, This Moment, was a daily read for
more than two years.
Beautiful photography from a beautiful, caring, intelligent,
witty, classy man. Losing him breaks my heart.

I'm leaving his blog on my sidebar.

If you have been so unfortunate to have never visited
his blog, do so now. Enjoy what he left there.
He would be pleased.

Rest in peace, Alan.

Not in the mood...

I'll be back in a day or two.
Or three.

The brain-gears have temporarily
ground to a halt. Looking for lubricant.

Co-worker observation...

...amidst the continuing upheavals,

"We put the 'ass' in class."

Dog...

he's a good boy when
he wants to be.
though I was speaking
of my pup,
it dawned on me as
the words unfurled,
you sit, stay, come
when you want!

Hard Haiku...

The Weekly Wednesday Haiku Contest

Sparrow's topic this week is WORK.

Go on, give the poor woman something to
read while she's in the islands.


my entry:

We do it backwards,
you know. Play and learn while young.
Save work for old age.

MilBlogs...

I've added three milblogs to my sidebar:

A Soldier's Journey

Iraq: The Purgatorium

Bill and Bob's Excellent Afghan Adventure

They're all different. They're all good.

Sgt. Hook has been on my sidebar for a while, of course.

Blank...

A.
I do not have you
anymore.
not slipped away
just stopped.
the same to say
you neverwere.
no fragments to
undeja vu.
and that becomes
you cannotbe.
so not unlike
hasneverbeen.
becomes again
willneverbe.


B.
there's noonehere
anymore.
not slipped away
just stopped.
the same to say
it neverwas.
no fragments to
undeja vu.
and that becomes
it cannotbe.
so not unlike
hasneverbeen.
becomes again
willneverbe.

note: Do you prefer A or B, and why?

You are...

a word I
haven't found
to tell of
all of you
at once...
of course!
that would be
...love.

Meanie Haiku...

You have until midnight tonight to submit your
haiku at Sparrow's All Atwitter.

This week's topic is: TROLLS.

Quiet, please...

if I think too loud
I hear an echo.
words megaphone
through my ears
can you hear me?
not meant for you
please ignore me.
only room for one
inside my head.