So much for sleeping tonight. Anybody wanna chat?
I was so looking forward to some sweet slumber.
Took a nice, cool shower. Put on a clean white wife-beater.
Curled up on clean sheets, enjoying the fan blowing on me...
AND THEN... I see IT.
A long-legged, kinda brownish SPIDER at least five inches across,
on the wall under the window, no more than two feet from my face.
Who says size doesn't matter??
Some impressive freaking ensued.
Managed to run to the pantry without breaking a leg, grab a can
of something, return to the bedroom. Carefully. Slowly. Approach.
The basstid runs across the wall... and falls. Ha! Take that!
It's back on the wall. SPRAY. Fall.
Dammit, it's staggering up the side of the bed!
Fuck this. I'm going for the big guns.... HAIRSPRAY.
Hairspray and a clothes hanger to beat his ass.
SPRAY. SPRAY. SPRAY.
He falls again.
I verrrrrry carefully...still armed, mind you... peek over the
edge of the bed.
What do I see? A big pile of very sticky books.
No spider. Dammit.
I don't see it anywhere. Wait.
I hear a noise. Something is moving at the end of the bed.
I see nothing. The noise stops.
I'm now standing in the middle of the bed, scoping the perimeter.
It's quiet. Still no visual on the arachnid.
If it isn't dead, it's very pissed. And sticky. And stiffening.
So, now I'm sitting yoga-like on the corner of the bed farthest
from the last sighting. And not happy. Still armed.
Doing a repeated visual sweep of the entire room.
I now have a headache and I'm sweating.
Nothing. It's been an hour. No-thing!
Ain't no way in hayyyul this broad is closing her eyes tonight.
Gather up notebook, cigarettes, cell phone. Head to the computer room.
Make first cup of strong coffee.
I have to be at work...preferably alert... at seven ay em.
It is now 1:30 ay em.
Pity my co-workers.