There's a Party going On!

The Amazing Anonymous Boxer Babe has
organized a planet-wide inter-net
New Year's Party.

Games, Food and plenty of Drinks for all.
Every comment you leave is a chance to win
a cash donation to a charity.

Go say Hi and Happy New Year and have fun!

p.s. her party goes on until Saturday afternoon.

winding down 2010...

We made it.
Be happy.
Look forward.

Welcome 2011


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

cold. cold. coldcoldcold...

Screw this. It's 29 degrees here.

I'm going back to bed with a book
and the heating pad.

Laters.

reflection...

all I see is ugly
in the mirror
now.

but what I remember
was so different
then.

if it's unimportant
tell me why the mirror
cries.

if only in my dreams...

Merry, Merry Christmas to all!

sharing Christmas stories from Joan...

Please read and follow all the links.

Tissues highly recommended.

Decorating for Christmas...

This is it. The extent of my holiday decorating.
And, honestly, it's by accident since I bought it
three or four years ago and set it on a table in the
living room. It's been there ever since.

Yes, it's true. I am certainly a prime example of
a humbuggerian. No need to feel sorry, though.
My choice entirely.

I plan to do a lot of reading while enjoying the
eighteen day holiday break from work.
I'm starting with 'The Imperial Cruise' by James Bradley.
Next on my list is 'The Pacific' by Hugh Ambrose.

I'd also like to find 'Fly Boys' and 'Band of Brothers'.

About the only travelling I might do is a day-trip north
to St. Augustine to view their whole city light display.
In all the years of living in Florida, I've never seen that
town at Christmas.

What are your plans?

Promoting my blogging friends...

Two of my favorite bloggers have books to sell.

Please go visit:

Mark Durfee

and

Michael Morse

I have their first books and intend to buy their
new ones also.

early Christmas present...

This week my friend and I were told that
we will be moved to full-time as of January 4.
Plus, my 90-day probation is up this coming
Tuesday so, I'll be getting a raise.

Two excellent reasons for celebrating, eh?

She and I won't get paid for the business holiday shut-down
for the last two weeks of December and the first three days
of January but, we knew that from the start so budgeting
was necessary. I'll make it.

The crawl back up the hill is much slower than the slide down.
Still, this is good news and I am grateful.

Christmas haiku #2...

ice crystals falling
jingle in the night air like
sleigh ride silver bells.

aha!...

Lynn Price solves the mystery.

(click on the photo)

What end...

now December
and we are vigilant
who watch life pass
again.
again? you ask.
indeed.
life is a cycle
of days within seasons,
each richened by
those past.
not 'til our end
are we full
to bursting.
memories being
the greatest gifts
passed to those
remaining.

Christmas haiku #1...

sleigh bells, silver bells.
once upon a midnight dreary.
cash register ching.

Happy Thanksgiving...

every day.

what not to do to your family...

Awkward Family Photos

found at Sippican's Boys Blog.

Deland Art Festival... Part Three

the title is "Caught Fishing".
A talented artist with a sense of humor.
That would be R. L. Alexander.

Deland Art Festival... Part Two

Many of the buildings in Deland have painted murals
depicting bits of the town history and past and
current prominent citizens.

















Unfortunately, this artist does not have her own website.
Her name is Donna McCarthy-Jensen.



















Her husband is a potter and has a site here.

Deland Art Festival... Part One

I'm going to post the pics from the Deland Art Festival
a few at a time, in separate posts.
The weather was beautiful but there were some disappointments.
First, there were noticeably fewer participants than in the past.
Second, a lot of the pieces were left over from past shows. Not
as much new stuff as expected.
Third, a lot of the artists would not allow photos of their work.















This artist, however, didn't mind at all.
Richard Currier. Go look at his website.
Fantastic work. And, note the size of the pieces.
I don't think anything is smaller than 30"x30".
He only had about half a dozen pieces at the show
and they were all at least 4'x5'.

I'll do more tomorrow.

(click on the pics to make bigger.)

shititude...

(someone should put together an American Blogger Dictionary)

So. How ya been?

Myself, I am guilty of serious blogger slackery due
to my longgggggggg stretch of gloomy shititude.

To help me hide from the world, I've been reading.
And, reading. And, reading.

Things such as:
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (as good as the movie),
a biography of Mark Twain (slow beginning),
a biography of John Forbes Nash (Russell Crowe movie 'A Beautiful Mind'),
The Memory Keeper's Daughter (excellent),
a biography of Lewis Grizzard (sad),
To Kill A Mockingbird (several times),
Books (a memoir by Larry McMurtry),
Lonesome Dove (wonderful),
Atonement (excellent),
short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald (sucked),
Divine Sisters of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (loved it),
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (awesome. why no movie?).

That's a sample.
I regularly scavenge through the library's books-for-sale room
and Goodwill shops for cheap prices. Lonesome Dove was $.10.
I'll be starting on a bio of Zelda Fitzgerald soon. One dollah.

Work is the same. Still part-time.
Yesterday was my last day until November 29. They shut down
for the week of Thanksgiving. No pay for me but, oh well.

Tomorrow I'll be meeting a galfriend for lunch and a leisurely
stroll through a large art festival in Deland. If I remember
to get fresh batteries for the camera and then actually use
the camera, I may have some pics to post this weekend.

I know. You are panting in anticipation.

Have a great weekend.

the Pondering....... store

Christmas card, with envelope, 4 for $20.00
Single card, framed, $15.00

penguin sayz...

numb and numb-er...

ain't nuthin' wrong, zactly,
but what I've got in my head
refuses to come together
as anything resembling sense.

my humor is on vacay,
what wisdom might have been here
got buried by the black dog of depression
again.

damn that dog.

rhyme and reason
has been the fuel
for this fool
through many days and seasons.

no more, it seems.
for now, at least.

.
.

The weather could not be more perfect and I still have
the job, although it remains part-time.
So, that tells me they are not as busy as they need to be
to give me (and the one other part-timer) six more hours
a week and health insurance.
Although, I've heard that the insurance is so expensive
as to make invisible the raise after ninety days and the
additional hours. Whoopee.
They shut down for the week of Thanksgiving and
two weeks for Christmas which is not a paid benefit
for the part-time employee. Three weeks of zero money.
However, I knew that as a possibility from the get-go,
so I have prepared for it through the wonders of budgeting.
Part-time is still better than no time.

I will survive.

Still... I miss my own poetry.

I'm still reading your blogs but not commenting as much.
Will try to fix that, too.

heads up...

the day
is running away
so much more to say
mixed with
more to do.
we say it never ends
but it does.
beware.

What a difference a year makes...

A year ago I was in Ohio for my 40-year high school reunion.
Unemployed but not too worried, yet.

I moved away from there 36 years ago.
Everyone's lives took their own paths. Some good, some not so.
I spent a lot of time wondering what my life would have been
if I had not moved away. Or, at least, not moved to Florida.
I have to keep reminding myself that there is no answer to
that question. Wondering is a waste of time.

Living in the present can be a challenge for me. The future
is such an unknown no matter how carefully plans are made.
'What ifs' eat up time better spent on now. Today.
It's too easy to miss what is good around one at the moment.
That time doesn't come back, either.

The best thing that happened to me that weekend had nothing
to do with the past. It was getting to meet Berry in person.
We've enjoyed every day since, even if all but nine of those
days have been apart.

Sometimes, life gets better if you let it.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend.

Paws for Patriots...

One of my favorite blog reads is Boudicca's Voice.

Tonight she linked to Southeastern Guide Dogs
here in Florida.
They have a program that provides seeing eye/guide dogs
to our Veterans who have suffered service related vision loss.
Seems our government does not provide that for our
veterans. The program is Paws for Patriots.
This program, as all their programs, is completely free to
those in need. They are completely funded by donations
and volunteers.

Check the video at Bou's blog, then see if you might help
this supremely worthwhile organization in some way.

crap...

What is going on with blogger this weekend?

Been trying to post pics here and on the
sidebar and after waiting for half an hour
they will not load. Sheesh!

This makes Jean grouchy.

Duty report...

First, let me THANK everyone for all the
congratulations and WooHoos when I
announced finally getting a job.
Ya'll rock.

Two and a half days into the working world
and I am pooped. Stressed right-the-hell-out.

When I worked for this company many, many
years ago, I was in Test and Inspection. This
time I am part of Building and Assembly, so
it's something I've never done for them before.

The work is tiny, detailed and exacting. Again,
it is done working under a microscope and with
tweezers. They build electronic detectors. Little
gizmos that activate store door openers, garage door
openers and some military thingies like heat seeking
missiles. I can't offer more specifics or they will
have to shoot me for revealing secrets.

But.

What I'm learning to do is place a 1/4" tinted and
coated square glass filter inside a round metal cap about
1/8" wider than the filter. The filter needs to be centered
over a square hole that is very slightly smaller than the
filter. Then I have to reach back into the cap and apply
a drop of liquid silver conductor to opposite sides of
the filter, without moving the filter out of place.
That requires using the opposite end of the tweezers that
has a hair-thin wire attached to it for applying the silver.

I do all that while I am holding the cap steady on a table
with another pair of tweezers in my left hand.
Under a microscope.

I've never had finger cramps before. ow ow ow.

What I do is only one of several steps required to build
one of I don't know how many different products.

At the end of the first day, I thought my eyeballs might explode.

After the first morning break, I discovered that having a cup
of coffee is a mistake. Holy cow. Seeing all these tiny things
fluttering in a cramped space under the scope adds exponentially
to the stress level. Lesson learned there.

The good part is seeing familiar, friendly faces from many years
ago. Some of these folks have been working there thirty years.
And, a lot of them are younger than me. Of course.
Most of the world is younger than me.

It remains to be seen if the job will ever go to full-time.
Forget permanent. Nothing lasts forever.
I just hope it lasts long enough.

I have a job...

part-time.
maybe temporary.
They called this afternoon.
I start tomorrow morning.
With a company I worked for 21 years ago.

this is a limerick, right?...

There once was a boy from Nantucket
who really wanted to learn how to pluck it.
He tried and he tried
'til the day that he died.
But never did get his tune in a bucket.

It could happen...

If you were me
and I were you
I think I'd be confused.
Your socks would sag
Your pants would drag
Your shoes would be askewed.
I'd sip your wine
instead of mine
Then probably p'tu-it.
There'd be no getting used t'it.
The mix of you
swapped 'round with me
might fail to find the conduit.
Sparks would fly
There'd be a cry
We'd end up glooped 'n puddled.
Best you stay there
and I stay here
evade our being fuddled.
I'd miss the me
and you would you.
Two twains not meant for meeting.
Happystances less than fleeting.
Does make no sense
in trading tents.
Isall discombobulation.
Keep what you've got
and covet not
another's home play station.

One father's perspective...

"Retired NYC firefighter Lee Ielpi, seen here in December 2001
at the site of the WTC in New York, volunteered in the recovery
effort and helped carry his son Jonathan's remains from the site."

Click the link above to read what he has to say.

just because it's cute...

Makes me think of Dumbo.
Ya done good, dear.

I don't understand why so many people think Stephen King's books are all that...

Until very recently, the only book of his that I read
was 'On Writing'. I like reading how writers produce(d)
their craft/art. The mix of autobiography makes it
even more interesting.

However, I've never been a fan of science fiction/horror/
gore/scary shit. Just not my thing in movies or books.

However (again) a few years ago, I came across an expanded
version of 'The Stand' at a discount price and bought it
intending it to be a gift for a friend who was a fan of King.
The friend passed away before I could send the book.

I came across it a couple of weeks ago under a pile of... stuff.
So, I thought why not read it and see what all the hoopla
is about. This edition is 400 pages longer than the original.
Well, what the heck. I don't exactly have a busy schedule
at the moment, ya know.

Basic premise: gov't researchers have an accident with a
super deadly strain of what they call the flu and it is so
contagious that it kills ninety per cent of the population
in the United States in about two weeks. Very ugly.
The rest of the story is about how those remaining are
gathering together to survive and rebuild a civilization.

Because of dreams everyone is having, the good guys
(mostly) end up in Boulder, Colorado and the bad guys
(mostly) end up in Las Vegas. Good vs Evil at war.

Since so few people are left alive they have plenty of
food, vehicles, gas, camping supplies, etc. to rebuild with.
And, lots of empty buildings. Well, empty after they clear
out all the rotting corpses.

Mr. King infuses the language in the dialogue with slang
that comes across as awkward and juvenile. He mentioned
I-95 in an area that made me flip back several pages to make
sure the characters hadn't slipped back to the east coast but,
no, he moved it to somewhere out west. Careless, that.
One of the worst things that really almost made me put the
book down was in the last quarter or so. He described several of
the male characters, in several different scenes as "he made
wee wee in his pants." What the hell??? Immature humor?
Oh, yeah... there is a major nuclear explosion in Las Vegas and
never a concern mentioned about fall-out adding to the survival
dilemma.

I don't think Mr. King has any interest in making his readers
think. He seems to aim for light entertainment even though
the subject matter is grisly and serious.
I also think that he writes with the intention of every book
being made into a movie, which of course most have been.

This version also included several black ink illustrations
which added to the impression that I was reading a very big
comic book. Really. It felt like a comic book story.

What have I missed? Did I expect too much from a very
popular author? Am I being a snob?

I'm glad I read it only because I can put away any thoughts
of ever reading any of his other books. I had the unfortunate
experience of seeing a few of his early movies. Yuck.

I'd like to hear what you think. Fill up the comment box.

love, trust, live...

working from pain
building walls of defense
succeeds only in
existing isolated in pain.

'round and 'round...

it's after midnight
which makes it
tomorrow
so why does it
still feel like
today?

it isn't always...

what your eyes see
isn't always all there is.
yet, if you look too hard,
the best might be missed.

Here I go again...

computer is in the shop. Power supply...?


UPDATE: (Saturday) This time it was simple.
The power switch on the tower broke...
and they fixed it for FREE.
Like I told Erica in comments, I'm taking this
as a sign that things are looking up.

This is silly...

I haven't had much good to say here lately.
Poetry is dead in my heart.

No idea why anyone visits here at all any more but,
you folks deserve better from me.

Gonna back off from this place for a bit until I can
relay some good news and/or something worthy
of reading. Maybe I'll re-post some of the old stuff.

I will continue to visit and comment at your places.
This is too addicting to go cold turkey.

Be well, my friends.

UPDATE - For the first time ever...

my mortgage payment is late.

I called customer service, wanting to explain and
hoping for an exemption from the late fee but, I
was unable to find an option to talk to a live rep.
Checking on line gave me info for the closest office,
twenty-five miles away, so I'll call them today.

You see, I'm in the group that the media is calling
"the 99-ers". Still unemployed. My last UC check was
deposited July 8. The emergency extension was signed
July 20 (22?) but the money distribution is just now
beginning. I was told I couldn't re-apply until I received
some official letter in the mail and those were not going
to be sent out until last week. I waited all week and was
finally able to make contact by phone on Friday to ask
when I might expect the paperwork.
Turns out they are late in mailing. The man I talked to
in Tallahassee gave me a new website to access and do
the application on line but it's still going to be at least
two weeks before I might see some of the money.
Almost two months with no income other than some orders
through the store. I'm almost tapped out financially and
emotionally is getting pretty edgy, too.

I really don't like being unemployed.
In all this time of searching for a job, I have not been
called one time. Nada. Zip.

However, last week presented a very, very tiny light way
beyond the end of the tunnel. I found out that a former
employer is doing some light hiring. Two people I worked
with have been hired. I hauled ass to get an application
filled out last Wednesday. I worked for this organization
from 1986 to 1989. Yeah, twenty-one years ago.

They're hiring part-time, to keep their expenses down.
No benefits but the 31 hours per week would pay a decent
chunk more than unemployment.
I'd take the job in a heartbeat. And be very glad for it.

I'd like to ask that you send out some good vibes, say a
prayer, cross your fingers... whatever.

This is not how I expected to be living my life at this age.
***********************

update: Finally made human contact via telephone with
the mortgage company (Chase) yesterday. One rep is
mailing a 'loan modification packet'. Not sure if that will
do me any good but, I'll read it and see what might be
offered. I only have nine years left on the loan and I hate
to extend the time. Interest rate is currently 5.75% .
After being transferred umpteen times, I finally got to
talk to the department that could help only to be told that
I needed to call back today (Tuesday). holyshit and grrrrr.
So, I obediently called today to be told they will only forgive
half of the late fee. ($19.51 minus half = $9.76) And, they
will only do this one time. (thanksalot, you corporate whore)
Where is the benefit to being a good customer for many years?
I've made mortgage payments since 1986, albeit not to the
same company all that time, but still... 24 years is only worth
$9.76 ?????

No word yet on the part-time job, although they did hire
another former co-worker this week. Fingers still crossed.

A dear friend submitted my resume to the large company the
friend has worked for for many years. Nothing available
locally but, a few possibilities in Ohio.
Includes moving expenses. Friend has more confidence in
me than I do.

In other news... it was 88 degrees when I woke this morning.
Last time I checked the temperature, it was reading 101.
We can easily add 10 degrees for the humidity.
Ice water is also my friend. And Sparky's.

Not least of all... thank you all for your kind words of support!

Friday the 13th...

ooooooh. booga booga booga.

Stop it.

'superstition' (Oxford English Dictionary)-
n. excessively credulous belief in and reverence
for the supernatural. A widely held but
irrational belief in supernatural influences,
especially as bringing good or bad luck.

Have a great weekend!

Sparrow's view...

as a business owner. Where does it end?

bonk, bonk, bonk...

Nothing but a dull thud echoing from my
empty brain-container. Gray matter has
mostly melted in the recent return of
high heat and humidity.
I've heard they're canceling Fall this year.
Gonna have two Summers instead.

I need...
I want...

Oh hell. Hell.
I don't remember asking for it.
Or making a deal and losing.
But, right now, it sure feels like I did a
whole big bunch of somethin' bad and
got caught. Some other life ago? Last year?

Am I channeling a really bad Beat poet?

Time for another glass of ice-water before bed.
I like to let it dribble down my neck and over
my chest and down my stomach.
Feels good with the fan blowing on me.
Sometimes the good feeling lasts long enough
to hook me up with the Sandman for the night.

Other sometimes the sticky air is heavier than a
wet sheet but it can't be thrown off, no matter how
much tossing and turning I do.
It's better, during those other sometimes, to just
lie very still and naked in front of the fan.

Sweet dreams.

another SuperModel...

What can I say?

Pondering attire is showing up everywhere.
Thank you, Michael!

Who's next?

No book contains reality...

Which is why I like reading so much.

Pondering across the Pond...

This is Susie Hemingway wearing her new Pondering hat.
She writes here about her life in the U. K. with her
handsome husband Hamada. Isn't she a beauty?
She has a book of poetry for sale, all proceeds going
to cancer research.

Thank you, Susie, for sending the photo. I love it.

I also want to thank everyone who has ordered products
from the Pondering....... store. I can't tell you how much
I appreciate your support, especially in these rough times.

I'd love to post more photos from any of you
wearing/using/displaying your Pondering products.
Don't be shy!

*
In other news... we got some rain and relief from the heat.
Hallelujah.
It may not last long but I will enjoy it as long as it lasts.
And, the poison ivy is getting better. Did I mention the poison ivy?
Yeah, itchy itchy rash to go with the horrid heat. Yuck.
But, it's better and so am I.

Hope you all had a great weekend.

please rain...

thunder,
far away,
moving farther.
taking rest, relief,
recoup,
breath
with it,
farther.

It's so hot the weeds are wilting...

Oppressive, brutal, airless, humid, stifling, suffocating.
No relief, even at night.
Can August possibly be as bad or worse?

I've survived many summers without air conditioning
but I do not remember any this bad.

I put ice cubes in Sparky's water bowl.
I drink ice water by the gallon.

Chunks of cold watermelon is my favorite food.

July has been a horrible month for lots of reasons
but, this heat. is. the. worst.

et voila...

Got the computer back last night.
Turns out it was harboring two viruses.
Computer fix-it guy said he didn't check for
viruses the first time because what I mentioned
didn't sound like virus issues. Thank you so much.
I thought a virus check was standard.

Anyway, he didn't charge me any more to resolve
the problem so I'll not complain much. Plus, he
added some new virus scanning/checking things.

The job fair on Monday was pitiful.
A discount grocery store looking for ONE cashier
and ONE manager. They did no advertising other than
a poster on the front door of the store and, from the piles of
applications turned in, I am estimating at least
three hundred people applied before I got there.

I can easily say that the big draw was that the
cashier job was advertised as full-time and pays
ten bucks an hour. That's big money in these parts.
I could pay my bills on that.

The attitude of the twenty-something dweeb in a suit
pissed me off, however. A company rep not doing the
company any favors. I don't think he likes his job.

When I turned in my app (they don't take resumes),
he asked me three questions that I'd answered on the
app (simple, one page, two sides). One of the questions
was "Do you have a GED?" I answered "No. Bachelor of Science."
He shot me a sharp look and made a note on a paper
he attached to my application. I commented on the huge
stack of applications already collected. Without looking at me,
he mumbled "yeah, have a nice day."
Does that qualify as summarily dismissed?

I'd say Young Dweeb slept through Personality Class 101, had
someone take the test for him and skipped 102.

I'd been a bit concerned about dressing appropriately since
this was a job fair. From now on, I will not worry.
Approximately twenty other applicants in the room, all but
two or three as young or younger than Young Dweeb.
Most of the females attired in shorts with their butt-cheeks
hanging out, tank tops and no bras. (I really am old, aren't I?)
I could have spent the rest of the day trying to count the multiple
piercings protruding from lips and nostrils. The young males
in attendance were decked out in baggy shorts, tattoos and
their own supplies of metal balls and rings.
Did I mention that no fewer than three of the females were
carrying infants with them?

That was my competition.

I am so hopeful that I decided to continue spending one
or two dollars a week on lottery tickets.
Odds are about the same.

ain't quite right...

Three times so far.
Three times the computer shut down and re-booted.
All by itself.

Taking it back to the repair guy in just a bit.

Seems to be true... it never ends.

Computer seems to be working again...

Reasonably cheap fix even though it took
longer than I had hoped.

Still don't have much to say.

It's too hot.

Job market still sucks but I've continued to submit
applications and resumes. Job fair scheduled for Monday.

Hope everyone is well.
I'll be playing catch-up for a while.

Independence Day...

go to the house by the Parkway.

Have a nice summer...

If I were any happier, I'd have to wear a bib...

new shirt at the Pondering....... store

Includes the 5"x7" card w/envelope and free shipping
for only $15.00 .

why...

the hardest answer
to accept is some questions
will have no answer.

missplaced...

I'd be there
if I knew where
to go
to settle my soul.

breathe...

Are ya kidding me?!...

I'm trying really hard to find a good venue
to get my Pondering....... store products out
in front of the public, in person.

I tried the local flea market. Big fail.
I've talked to numerous shop owners and cafe' type
places to see if they would buy products for re-sale or
possibly do a consignment arrangement. No go.
I've been looking around for local craft-type
shows and festivals. Found one for next weekend
that will be really, really nice and it's in the next town
only five miles away. But, I can't do it.

The entry fees made me choke.
First of all, it's a two day seafood and music festival
held in a beautiful park by the river.
The entry fee for non-food vendors is $250!
(They generously refund $100 if you clean up your
10'x10' space to their satisfaction.) Plus.... plus...
you must have a tent that is labelled "fireproof" and
you must have a fire extinguisher. Aaaaaaaaaand...
the festival hours for Saturday are 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.
and if you want to keep your tent open until 9 p.m.
you must have an electric light. To do that, you must
pay the city $50 for electric access... that will be
needed for about two hours. The hours on Sunday
are only 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. That is some mighty expensive
electricity. Damn.

I'd be looking at spending at least $400 just to be there.
(I don't have a tent or a fire extinguisher.)

Let's see... sell 26 shirts and two cards.
Or, 33 coffee mugs and one card.
Or, 22 hats and one card.
Or, 10 framed cards and 21 mugs.
Just.to.pay.back.the.basic.investment.

This appears to be about the norm for other shows like
this anywhere in the state. Bigger cities charge even more.
Add on travel and motel expenses if the city is far away.

My frustration level is about maxed out.

I wonder how long it would take me to get arrested if I
parked on the side of a busy road and simply sold out of
the back of my car? Oh, wait. There'd be a fee/fine for that, too.

I don't remember where I found this...

(photo credit Sharon Montrose) thank you, Berry.

but s/he's pretty damned adorable.

This will have to do until I can loosen
the iron clamps that are squishing my brain.
There's so much going on in the world, with
friends and family, and in my life that I feel
blank inside even as I worry about it all.

I hate to feel like I have no control.

Tears in heaven...

For those with a heart and strong stomach, more photos here.

this is what I want to do...

except, not in a circle, which is all I seem
to have done for a long time.

Whiney weather and one other bit of stuff...

Florida has killed Spring and embraced Summer.

When the humidity stays at 90% for a week it doesn't
matter that the temps are only in the mid-80s.
The air is muggy and heavy and sticky and it feels HOT.
I'll try not to whine too often in the next five months
but, I make no promises.

The one other bit of stuff... I'm trying a new product for
the Pondering....... store. Ladies tank tops. Plus, as an
enticement, there will be a card with matching design
at no extra charge and free shipping. Stay tuned.
ETA two weeks.

Happy June !

Memorial Day...

My dad served on this ship in W.W. II

Time...

some day is a big if.

what if might never.

too late could be now.

I'm going to hell for lying...

to telemarketers.

The handbasket is ready.

No matter what they're selling, I tell them I already have it
or have had it done. I can't get mad at them.
They have a lousy job. I know that because I worked
as a telemarketer twice in desperate times.

Once was one summer in college.
The phones were still rotary dials. The abuse was horrible.

The last (hopefully) time was right before I got hired by
the aerospace/computer chip/welding place. We had
already put two mortgage payments on a credit card and
I took this job to buy groceries.
I think I was slap-happy and actually had fun chatting
with all kinds of people. The only ones too busy to talk
were the folks in Georgia. They were in the middle of flooding.
That was 1995.
I think I worked there three weeks and made about $60/week.

Anyway, I know these people are hating their job and hoping
for something better soon so, I just can't be mean.
So, I lie, wish them a nice day and hang up.

It takes less time than going into a bitching tirade
and I keep smiling.

I don't get it...

Here it is, again, so soon...

the weekend already.
Time now seems to pass
in weeks, not days.
months
roll by too easily,
another year will be gone in a minute.
I am getting older far too quickly.

the drain that is my brain...

I have accepted the crapfact that depression
will never leave me alone. It is part of me.
*
damn you old black dog
wearing me out and down like
river rubbed canyon
*
There is nothing to be done about it except
endure. Over and over and over again.
*
tomorrow looks less
than worthy after today's
vain forward struggle
*
Pep-talks from well meaning friends don't help.
*
come along, you say.
you know precisely my need.
arrogant bastard
*
It makes it very difficult to be nice so I often hide.
*
it's worse somewhere else
for many someone elses.
today I don't care.
*
It turns me into someone I don't like at all and I can't help it.
*
do you doubt despair
can twist the heart, wring the soul,
blind all hope? You fool.
*
It sneaks up and every time I ask why.
*
you think you know
the reason, the answer, the
why. until this now.
*
I've read a gazillion books and been to therapy.
*
regurgitation
of all the pretty words ends
in ugly dry heaves
*
Remember the time I went to a shooting range and
enjoyed shooting and did very well? Did anyone
think it strange that I did not buy a gun?
*
it is not so hard
to understand that there are
some who will resign
*
It feels like living in hell and a glorious relief
when it subsides.
*
to wax poetic
do you mind much when I swear?
tough shit if you do.

just a quickie...

For those who read here and were also on my
friend's list at FaceBook... I dumped FB.

I signed up about a year ago because one of my
brothers asked me to and I figured, whatthehell,
it's another way to keep in touch with family.
Then, I came across more and more bloggers there
(including some who have cut way back on blogging),
did the friend thing and also found bunches of new
peeps and organizations. Then, after my high school
class reunion, some of those folks were found there, too.
None of the above is a bad thing at all.

Unfortunately, sooooooo many of the folks on FB spend
much of their time gifting and gaming and not much else.
Sorry, that's just not my thing. Plus, I'm very leery about how
FB shares everyone's info with who-the-hell-knows-who.
I was also noticing a major increase of spam crap in my email.
Since I quit, that has dropped dramatically. Coincidence? meh.

I also used my page to advertise the Pondering....... store.
In all that time I noticed only three hits from FB.

All in all, I came to the conclusion that it was a waste of time
for me. I have other things to do.

However, there was absolutely nothing personal about
my decision to go away. Different strokes for different folks, right?
As far as I know, the FB folks who read this blog had been
reading here before then, so I hope I haven't lost any readers
since I closed that page. If so, such is life.

On another, better, topic; I'm working on new products
for the Pondering....... store. Hope to bring one or two out
in a few weeks.
Come to think of it... do you have a preference between t-shirts,
coffee mugs or cards? Any and all suggestions are welcome, as
always. Leave your opinions in comments or email me.

After all that so-called 'quickie' stuff... Have a great weekend!

Rescuing Providence, the book...

Michael Morse tells his story of the EMS experience
in a most compelling way. I read it in one sitting.
I'm not the only one who loves the book. It's in the
process of being made into a movie.

Click on the photo above for more info or, here.
There's also a link on my sidebar.

Ya done good, Michael. Kudos!

Sparky and confederate jasmine...

Mother's Day...

memories and love
remain in contemplation
life too soon ended


I love you, Mom.

what do you see...

looking
at the mountain
from the top down,
the bottom up
or from across the valley?
point of view changes
the picture
but it
does not change the mountain.

haiku double...

one idea blooms
stirs the imagination
becomes a garden.

*

but a single rose
may fill the eye with beauty
more than a bouquet.

I don't need no stinkin' rules... do I?

it is my inclination,
when there is no stipulation,
to run amok
until I'm stuck
in full-blown consternation.

my half-wit trail blazing
can leave me more than crazing.
I huff and wheeze
and groan and squeeze,
stuck in mental constipating.

I'm planning propositions
based on learned intuitions.
one good deal
would grease the wheel,
and keep me out of institutions.

if someone did the laundry
that would lessen much the quandary,
to leave more time
to make more rhyme
and go back to being bawdry.

dullard...

simple mind forces words
into twisted complexity.
befuddle instead of
illuminate.
good words clarify,
spotlight, highlight,
resonate.
today is nothing, empty, hollow
echoechoecho.
no one's home.
no one wants to be.

lets take a beach break...

the Pondering....... store

I'm still poor. Buy something.

Or, maybe add a link in your sidebar to
the Pondering....... store. Yes? Maybe? Thank you.

untitled...

hello. where did you
go. you were here
just a minute ago.
I blinked and breathed
and missed you leave.
hello. where did you
go.
I'll save your space
beside me. listen for
your laugh. re-welcome you
again. again.
hello.
where did you
go.

American author tidbits...

...from the book, Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of
American Writers.
©2001

*photo from WikiPedia.







Burgess, (Frank) Gelett (b. Jan. 30, 1866, Boston-
d.Sept. 17, 1951, Carmel, Calif.) Humorist and illustrator.

Burgess graduated from MIT in 1887 and became a draftsman for
the Southern Pacific Railroad, after which he taught
topographical drawing at the University of California. In 1894 he
changed professions, becoming associate editor of Wave
magazine. In 1895 he became the founding editor of the humor
magazine Lark, and in 1897 he began to publish books of his
self-illustrated whimsical writings. Among his best-known
works are 'Goops and How to Be Them' (1900), on bad-mannered
children, and 'Are You a Bromide?' (1906), the origin of bromide
as meaning "a boring person."
Burgess also coined the word 'blurb' to describe the praise
printed on book jackets. He is best known for the quatrain
"I never saw a purple cow,/I never hope to see one;/
But I can tell you, anyhow,/I'd rather see than be one."

not even...

you have no face
you hold no place
who do you think you are
nothing but
barely there
just another
vagina
in the parking lot.

ribbit, ribbit...

find more art here.

We three...

sometimes it flows,
other times I'm
pulling teeth.
I prefer the flow, of course,
but when it's done, I
look again to
make sure it's me.
When it's a struggle, I'm
disturbed at what I see.
Both sides speak true
and disagree. I am
the referee.

Going places...

Michael Morse has
graciously chosen
me for this blog award.
If you're not reading
him at Rescuing Providence,
shame on you. You're
missing out.




The rules that go with this award are to list five things
about yourself and pass the award on to other bloggers.

Five things about me:

*I've been camping once in my life for one night. Hated it.
I'd be willing to try it again with someone who knows
what they're doing.

*My dream house is a small cottage with a wrap-around
porch, situated outside a small town.

*I've been to six Jimmy Buffett concerts. One in Key West,
one in Melbourne (FL), two in Daytona and two in Akron
at Blossom Music Center.

*I remember sitting at the dining room table, in our house
in Uniontown, and listening to Disney's 'Sleeping Beauty'
on a 78 rpm record, played on the Heathkit Hi-Fi built by my dad.

*As a kid, I expected my grown-up life to be like the tv lives
of Donna Reed, Harriet Nelson or June Cleaver.
Took me a lot of years to wake up from that dream. sheesh.

There ya go. Mui fascinating, no?

Ya'll know how hard it is to limit award choices.
I'm only going to tag two this time: Berry and Tammi.
Wait, one more, Larry.

Michael, thank you again. Good luck with the movie!

So, who's bored here?...

Yeah, me too.

I'm not going into the details regarding my fall at
home and resultant boo-boos because it is embarrassing
in too many ways but do lemmetellya... gravity works.

The ever fair-weather friend which is my muse said
something about not liking the sight of blood and has
remained in hiding since last weekend. Beyotch, as usual.

Therefore, I am resorting to dredging up older posts for
intermission entertainment. I decided to go with light-hearted
this time. The title still draws hopeful derelicts from around
the world so I'm not re-typing it, I will only say... click here.

A few days after that post, I did a goofy follow-up to it that
you can find here. The web photos are worth the time anyway.

thistooshallpass, thistooshallpass, thistooshallpass...

Grabbed from Leeann.
More at Lolkatz.

haiku

A picture is not
the thing itself but mem'ry
of what the heart saw.

April Fool...

As promised to a friend...

Wouldn't it be something if computer screens
were equipped with scratch-n-sniff capabilities?