Monday, July 20, 2009

stop. dribbling. on. my. blog.

What you're looking for is not here. Get it??

After more than four years and 500+ posts, I get
a bad case of the creeps when I see which web searches
end up here most often. And which posts they find.

I posted about the horrible day my dog died.
I cannot imagine the disappointment of the freaks who
are looking for "m@m and b@ys". Almost all of those
sickos are from other countries. Almost all.

The top draw, however, is the post I wrote last November.
It was about a turtle, for shitssake! There are a large
variety of search words that land them here. Like:
"skinny p@nis", "dangling p@nis", "pencil in p@nis"
and on and on.
There is no pr0n here, dammit!
Classy erotica, at times, but NO pr0n!

Now, I'm curious...
what are some of the stranger web search words that
you folks have noticed landing on your blogs? Do tell.


Michael Morse said...

I made a post years ago defining a "taint." If you must know and don't already, google it, sadly Rescuing Providence comes up in the top ten answers!

And thanks for the kind comments on my blog, much appreciated!

the walking man said...

I guess nobody searches terms I use because I don't really notice any off the wall whacked out comments...maybe I should do a porn post, increase the traffic and all.

Linda Ray said...

Ick. I hate that stuff too. I don't know how they're doing it but foreigners are STILL finding that "p@nty hose butt" post at my place, even though I removed the phrase entirely.

(Do feel free to delete the phrase from this comment too if you wish.)

...again with the ick.

hoosierboy said...

I get 10-20 hits a day for pygmy sex almost all are from overseas. I also get a lot of "fat girls in Indiana"

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh, some are too icky to mention without further tainting your blog hits. I daren't repeat them. And they come from the Netherlands, almost exclusively.

I will say that I own "grown woman getting spanked," and that it must be the number 1 search on my blog right after the "pit bull/hyena mix" search. Brrrr!

Blaez said...

i think i own the gemini p0rn searches... leave it to my complaining about my ex husband watching too much p0rn, my being a gemini and the fact he wanted th33somes...

my favorite: "how to get gemini girlfriend in thr33 way @n@l" ... sends shivers down me timbers!!! in a bad way. gag me!

Jean said...

Michael, it was only recently that I was educated re the meaning of that word. Not your blog, though...or, was it?

Your blog is one of my favorite reads. Your writing helps keep me humble.

Mark, read the two posts I linked to and insert the words/phrases I referenced in this post. Magic!

Linda Ray, heh. I remember that post. Unfortunately, I think once we put something in cyberspace, it remains for all time.

HB, I occasionally get hit from someone finding your blog on that topic. I must have commented on one of those posts. *sigh*
Yet another version of 'net-working'.

Joanie, ha! Those are some unique tags. I don't remember reading either on your blog. Strange.

Blaez, oh yikes! I still occasionally get hits for 'how to deal with a drunk husband'. Forgot about that one.

Joan of Argghh! said...

Oh, I almost forgot: "massage with happy ending" is exclusively googled from New Jersey and Brooklyn. Sorry, Jimbo and Erica!

Jean said...


Anonymous said...

What about us sort of normal pervs?


Jean said...

'sort of normal pervs' I can handle ;-)

The Atavist said...

Some searches that end up on my page:

how would you say "5865696000000"

What does a man want in a woman?

kill capitalists (really!)

Jean said...

Sieg, humans can be scary!