Felix

Yesterday, at work, I was planning on writing on a very different subject than my old, black cat......Felix. .........He was the second oldest of the five critters who let me share this house since my husband's death in 1997.........Pissy, at nearly 20 years of age, passed away a few months ago....lying in bed beside me..... Felix, two weeks younger, died while I was at work ........... I found him after coming home from the grocery store. It had been raining non-stop since the night before..... and, by the time I got home last night, it was also thundering and lightening...... so I waited until very late to bury him beside Pissy......... when the lightening subsided. Felix was, by far, the most sensitive of the bunch......... he could be easily intimidated by the others........ and looked to me for protection and comfort......... Sometimes that was irritating, because it seemed that if he could have attached himself permanently to my side, he would have gladly done so.......... He had big, yellow eyes that often looked sad to me......and, often I would catch him simply sitting and staring blankly...... at nothing. My husband used to joke that Felix fit the saying "The lights are on, but nobody's home.".............I used to agree with that, but now I think........ maybe he was pondering........ and maybe I look that way when I am doing the same........ What would a cat like Felix ponder about?......... I can only project human suggestions.......... did he wonder why he had a step-child type of relationship with the other animals in the house?...... did he care?............ Did he wonder about the possibilities of another kind of cat-life?......... Was he happy or at least content with the existence he experienced here?......... For anyone who does not feel emotionally attached to pets or animals of any kind.......... this pondering on my part probably seems foolish....... perhaps even pathetic........... But, I do care about what kind of life my pets have with me.... And...dear Felix.......... I hope you knew how much I loved you and how many tears I am shedding at your leaving............ I miss you, little boy....Mom loves you.