Friday, April 20, 2007

So, this is what's meant by "Wild Goose Chase"...

One of my very best friends... ever... has always had some of
the most interesting jobs imaginable.

She is one of the brightest, wittiest, most talented, big-hearted
and charming-est of any human on the planet. Everyone who
meets B loves her. She finds joy in all of life, all the time.

We have been best friends since meeting in our freshman year
of high school... 1965. I'll do the math for ya... 42 years ago.

She taught elementary school for several years in a rough
neighborhood in Cleveland. All love... no fear. She made such
an impression on her students that she still gets letters from
some of them now, thanking her for having such a positive
impact on their lives. How many teachers of today could hope
to be remembered so well, especially so many years later?

She did a short stint working for a family that owned an ice cream truck.
Its busiest route was through Amish farmland in the area.

She spent several years (and still gets called to help out on occasion)
working at a place called the Farmpark. She led classes on milking cows,
canning fruits and vegetables, making maple syrup and cane sugar,
planting and harvesting tomatoes, corn..... Well, just click on the link
in this paragraph. Most of the activities listed are what B did there.
She even donated her two miniature horses to the park's menagerie.

For three years, she owned and operated a coffee shop, Beans, in a
beautiful, small town in Ohio. When she and hubby decided to move
to make his commute to work shorter, she sold the shop.
As much as she loved her coffee shop, she was also ready to give
up 12-hour work days, 7 days a week. Go figure.

Her current job...

Are ya ready?

She is a Wild Goose Chaser. Yup. You read that right.

Seems that there is enough wild geese shit deposited from many wild geese
that people are willing to pay other people to chase the geese away.
Problem is... the geese don't stay away. So, there is job security there.
B explained it to me thusly...

To be an effective Wild Goose Chaser, one must be able to handle dogs.
Herding-type dogs.
Not a problem for my friend. She loves dogs, has owned many and requires
their obedience in her presence. Her employer-to-be was justifiably
impressed with her raport with his trained canines. The job was hers.

So... he assigns her one of his newer dogs and provides a brand new vehicle
for her to use on her assigned route. Later, he also gives her a
remote-controlled toy boat. There is logic here, trust me.

Homeowner associations, hospitals, business complexes and other assorted
and sundry anti-geese folk are the usual customers. Often, these properties
include, or are near, ponds or lakes. Geese love water. Even frozen water.

When the water-bodies are still frozen (it being winter in Ohio when she
started this job), the herding-type canine can be directed to run across the
ice to chase away the wild geese. As Spring begins to think about melting
the ice, she uses the remote-controlled toy boat to chase the winged critters
to shore, where the herding-type canine can then do his job and encourage
their flight elsewhere.

Problem is... well, problem for the anti-geese folk... the geese will come back.
Much like Capistrano sparrows, only more often. So often do these geese
come back to the same spots, that B must return to these properties at least
once a week. And, she's also figured out that it helps if the return trips are
made at a different time of day than the last trip to the same property.
Seems these geese have watches.

So, the next time someone tells you they are on a Wild Goose Chase...
ask them if they've tried using a remote-controlled toy boat.

love ya, Beck...


curmudgeon said...

Bwah! I'm calling PETA!

Jean said...

Dave - No geese are harmed in the encouragement of their flight...:)

Hammer said...

Wouldn't it be better to shoot em and do a big BBQ ;)

It sounds like your friend has a fun job, I bet it never gets boring :)

beansgal said...

Dear Curmudgeon,

Actually, it IS endorsed by PETA as a humane deterent....go right ahead............give them a call

Valerie - Riding Solo said...

Getting paid for having fun - I like it!

Jean said...

Hammer - nothing she does is boring, trust me....:)

uh, Dave... she has answer for ya...

Val - sounds like a great job, eh?

kdzu said...

And here, all this time, I thought a Wild Goose Chase was when a guy slipped up behind the lady of his eye while she's bent over......

OOps Sorry. Damn my imagination!
Your friend has what I'd consider a fun J.O.B.

Jean said...

Larry - imagination can be a good thing!...;)

k said...

Boy oh boy! I LIKE this woman! She knows how to have FUN!


Jean said...

k - she is a hoot! I love her to death!!!

AspergantuS said...

Jean...dear lady...I AM a member of PETA, and as a member of PETA I encourage your friend to continue her persuit of the wild geese. Covered with a nice orange sauce, with a sprinkling of sliced almonds....mmmm mouth watering delight!

PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals)


Jean said...

Mick - good to see you here again, sweet man.

Scott from Oregon said...

That is funny in a really funny way...

It comes with its own built-in puns and stuff...

Jean said...

Scott - thanks... one of my easier posts to write, maybe for the reason you give.

alex said...

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ...

curmudgeon said...

" IS endorsed by PETA..."
I'll be damned.


Duck-duck-GoOSE! Duck-duck-GOoSE!

k. I'll shut up now.

curmudgeon said...


You don't really have to play along since you didn't ask to. Especially since you alrady volunteered at Lee's. But, since they are different questions, and since you are such a good sport... Only if you want to ;)

1- Baked or fried?
2- "My friends all think I should never ______"
3- Do you believe there is a future for plasmonics?
4- "I will never...ever go to _____ again!"
5- They shouldn't put that white, gooey stuff in Hostess Ding Dongs. It should be _____?

Jean said...

Alex - your blog is in Russian?

Dave - "duckduckGoose"... dear gawd, man... step away from the coffee!

I'll do the questions 'cause you asked... gimme a minute.

boneman said...

OK, well, what the hey...I can alienate folks with the best of 'em.

Leave the friggin' geese alone!

If some moron developer puts a housing unit around a pond, then the geese have the right of way.
In fact, they should force the residents to come across with some chow on a regular basis!
And, while I'm at it, the only way hunting should be allowed in this country is if it's also legal to shoot hunters!
The thing is, we ain't the end-all, be-all that we put ourselves out to be.
Heck, goose shit is one of the best fertilizers availiable!

And then, he tries to quietly slip out'a the room.....

Jean said...

Berry - you just have to be a troublemaker, huh? (kidding, dear)

zonker said...

If there's money to be made as a "Grey Goose Chaser", I know a few blodgers who'd make their quickly fortunes. Attend a Jawja blogmeet and you'll see I'm right.

Jean said...

Zonk - I intend to research in person!

Beansgal said...


Back in the slipping out.....1. the ponds are DUG by the developers....ya know "green space" 2. Ya wanna feed the birds.......go'd rather feed hungry children in Darfur 3. Actually bird droppings have very little soil nutrient value....grass goes through their digestive tract too fast 4. You can get a disease from breathing dried droppings.....called, you may go

Jean said...

Beansgal (aka 'B') - you go, girl!