No wandering allowed...

It's been four years since I moved back to Ohio.
Sometimes I hate it. 
Then I feel guilty for not appreciating what I have. 
Emotional roller-coaster is exhausting.
Sunshine helps, even if I only see it through the
windshield.

Yesterday was the first day of Autumn...

I didn't notice until I looked at the calendar.
The temps here are declining ever so gradually,
as always. I think it's been a whole week of not
getting above 90. Almost pleasant. Still humid.
Next month should be cool enough to go to the beach.

It's true, I live in Florida and I don't like the beach
in hot weather. Fall and winter are much nicer and
the people are fewer.

My head's been full of whiny, screechy noises lately.
I bore myself. I lose patience with myself.
I know so many who are going through much worse
than what nags at me. I may have to start making a
list of reasons I have to be grateful. Perspective, ya know.

Last night I went through some of my first posts, thinking
I would rework/edit some to see if I could make them better.
I didn't get far. Some of the old stuff is plain embarrassing.
My voice was different then. I spent a lot of time and space
just dumping and flushing. Necessary, at the time, I guess.

I wonder now what is necessary besides surviving.
Exist and survive. Survive and exist. Energy draining.

Maybe I need more vitamins.