Friday, June 21, 2013

words fail me...

Probably more accurate to say that
I'm failing the words.

I think I need to do something different.
Photos. Drawing. Crocheting. Volunteering.
My mind needs to be jarred into awareness.
Or, put to sleep permanently and stop wasting space.

Should have enough money saved to get an old,
high-mileage, cheap car...soon.
I really, really miss my independence and freedom.
A prisoner of necessity, I'm clawing at the walls.

I'm not giving up but don't expect much.


Doom said...

I lived where you are for decades. Don't give up, just back off if it isn't going fast enough and a path isn't open. Oh, I know how frustrating that is. I still deal with it, if to a lesser degree... usually.

I'll add you a little more often to my prayers. Take a deep breath and kick something (that won't break, or break your toe!). Smurf? *evil grins*

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Hope you escape soon.

foam said...

All your ideas sound good. I still think a dog sounds good. I know their upkeep can be costly though.

the walking man said...

I have no expectations Jean, I am just grateful to see you post something as a proof of consciousness!

Jean said...

Thank you, my lovely friends.

First priority is a car. Then I think I'll be able to breathe again.
A new critter would be nice someday but, this is still her house not mine and even though she hasn't complained, I continue to feel like an intruder.

Michael said...

Hello Jean, through it all you always manage to have something worthwhile to say or write, or leave comments on somebody's blog ;)

LL said...

I still follow and think of you, Jean. xoxo

og said...

Need a car, well, look hard at the Taurus from 99 to 01, you can get a very reliable vehicle very cheap, as we've discussed. Chrysler minivans are also very common, very inexpensive, and pretty reliable.

Now, for jarring yourself, go find a shelter you can volunteer at. You get to be around dogs, you don't have to bring one home, you're doing something very important, and it gets you out.

plus, you have that big heart that shelter animals need so much.

boneman said...

get your mental butt out of the sofa chair, and read the first chapter ofWalking on Alligators.

(sorry...I don't mean to sound bossy)

When a person says they are being whiney, they are whining right at that moment.
Put it into words.
Or, do what I did, put it into music and lose all your fans in one clean sweep.

Sorry...this is coming across far to demanding, isn't it? Maybe even a bit cynical.
Here... let me try again.

GET OFF YOUR MENTAL ASS AND DO SOMETHING's not getting any better, eh?
Your "don't have wheels" line falls of (or fails on) deaf ears, here, babe.
I have seen the busses.
They are a block over? or right there on your street.
Where I am, if I put a bus stop sign out front of the house and stand by it, the birds will come by and take turns dive bombing me with whatever that white crap is they throw around.
(what's a bussilini? It's a bus that leans a lot)

No, seriously, if you need cash, I can send you some.
Can't really afford the stamp right now, but I have 42¢ tucked away where the ants won't drag it away...

OK, you know I'm joking, right?
No, I'm still broke, but, this week I get my first social security check.
I'm buying LOTS of stuff.
A pale yellow MGBGT, for one.
Probably a model...

A swimming pool.
Well, a kiddie pool, actually, from Dollar general store. For the dogs, you know. Well, you don't know the dogs, but, you get the gist of it, eh?


A trip to Paris! OK, that one is going to be hard. I am going to get a free pamplet to go to Paris, and I'm going to read it as I walk through the yard.
I'm BOUND to trip on something...

OK, this is already too long, wouldn't you say?
Do what your heart tells you to do no matter how strange it may seem.
Don't allow negative thoughts to deny your success, and for sure, don't cook turkey testicles.


boneman said...

found this to help...

Also, after tomorrow, if you need a ride to Cleveland or California, I'd still drive you anywhere (and even keep my hands to myself)...
or, I can bring a book of jokes and drive you crazy?

Pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel on the front of his pants.
Bartender asks him, "What's that for?"
"RRRR," says the pirate, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts,"