Depression sucks...........

Some days are better than others..........the past three were less than better........another weekend put me in a funk that carried into Monday and Tuesday...........bad enough that I did not go to work...........which made the cycle continue because missing work for no good reason simply makes me angrier at myself..........which is why I am depressed in the first place......... I am my own worst critic...........no self compassion..........Self compassion...........a new phrase I heard from my therapist............I can make excuses for almost anyone except myself...........not that excuses are necessarily good things all the time...........but I have been angry at myself about things in the past......and since they are in the past.........I know they cannot be changed........and should be simply learned from and the knowledge filed for future reference...............but, even knowing this, I continue to rehash mistakes, failures, disappointments...........and, in the long run, all this self-flagellating has done nothing but stop me in my tracks............time moves on, but I do not......I continue to question what people see in me as positive..........perhaps that is because I feel that they don't see the real me............the person I know.......so...........whose perspective is more accurate.............. mine?............... or theirs?