moooood and attituuuuuude...

are both pretty close to the bottom of the pit.
The seemingly endless struggle, constant worry
and sense of insecurity is wearing me down.
Kinda wish it was wearing me thin but, cheap food
is fattening. You didn't know that, did you?

Got word that three more people were called back
to the old job. Five total, leaving six to wonder if.
In the meantime, I'm still sending out resumes and
filling in applications. No response from any so far.
Two this week are somewhat appealing. One is a
customer rep position with the local trash/recycling
company and the other is with the county, working
in the vehicle tag and title office. Respectable money
and nice benefits. (Dealing with the public, lord help me.)
Fingers crossed.

I think I'm due for a walk-about. Take some photos.
They set up an ice rink on the beach. Yes, they did.
Keeping it there through the holidays. $10 lets you
skate all day and includes the skates. Sounds like a
pretty good deal but, I've never skated so I'll just go
watch silly people laugh and fall on their butts and
maybe come away with a few photos to share here.

I keep saying it could be worse but I'm trying real hard
not to imagine what that would be.

crap. crap. crap...

Is it good? Is it bad? Is it better?

It's life.

It doesn't really change.
Some days are better than others.

At times, it feels like slogging through swampland.
Sinking a bit while flailing against the thick, hanging
vines and sticky cobwebs that impede progress even
more than the mucky path alone.

And, while flailing furiously, keeping a (paranoid?) eye out for
nasty critters hunching in and behind what is thought
of as debris but is really quite natural for that environment.

So.

Does that mean I am out of my environment? Or, is my focus
on the immediate obstacles overriding any observation, and
possible enjoyment, of things outside my tunnel vision?

If I widen my view, do I stumble over the obvious or can I keep
all elements, near and far, in their correct perspective?

Is life a swampy jungle or a rolling ocean?
Or both?
If so, then do I not need to continue slogging but
also be prepared to ride the waves?

Wait a minute...

where the hell did I put my life preserver?