Pondering.......

Backstory repeat from my archives...

2012-01-26T14:58:00.002-05:00

Blog readership changes over time.
I have some new readers who have asked
to know a bit more about me.

I'm linking to a post from 2007 that includes
more links to the story that ultimately brought
me to begin blogging in 2006. Click here.

For those who have already read those posts, or
prefer not to, may I suggest that you begin to
ponder what you will enter in next week's
Haiku Monday Contest. Beautiful Boxer is this week's winner
and has already picked the topic: Rain.
Boxer is an absolute hostess with the mostest, so
don't be surprised if she offers you some of her Tofu Vodka.

I wish I were a tiger...

2012-01-24T18:27:00.000-05:00

This big fella looks like I feel.
I want to beat up someone.
Take out my frustrations by inflicting damage.
...and then just calmly saunter away,
never to be heard from again.
bah. I'm in a sucky mood.

Haiku Monday - beauty...

2012-01-22T13:44:00.001-05:00

This week's Haiku Monday is
hosted by the lovely Anya.
The topic she chose is: beauty.

*

Can you hear beauty?
Listen to a loved one's laugh.
That's hearing beauty.

*

the first time I saw
your eyes, your sky blue eyes, I
fell into beauty.

*

someday home...

2012-01-19T21:44:00.001-05:00

I want a house
with high ceilings
and low floors.
windows never
closed, no locks on the doors.
"welcome friends" on
the mat,
chairs stuffed
and comfy fat.
food in the fridge,
books on the shelves.
don't hesitate
to help yourselves.

Haiku Monday - treasure...

2012-01-15T22:00:00.000-05:00

Words. Masterfully
composed. Expressed vibrantly.
Finessed image. Words.
*

Mel Fisher, late of
Key West, found his hidden in
a sunken ship's ribs.
*

Follow the yellow
brick road. But stay away from
fields of poppies.

*****************************************
This week's Haiku Monday is being hosted by
Chickory.

The deadline to submit haiku is 9 pm Monday.
There will be voting (until 6 pm Tuesday)to determine
the winner.
Click on the link to read all the details for the contest
and go to comments to read the entries.

Oh, yeah... the theme she chose is - Treasure.
*******************
(more but without visuals)

one treasure is that
it could be worse. Cherishing
breath, health, sanity.

*

oh, if I were to
walk the path that leads to you,
would X mark the spot?

*

Love that remains through
fire and storm and pain and fear.
Everlasting light.

*

at the age I am,
treasures change from those of youth.
Closer and smaller.

*

It may not look like
much from there but, from this view,
it is a fortune.

*

When you wish upon
a star, don't be blind to what
might already be.

Clarification needed...

2012-01-14T13:03:00.000-05:00

In my haste to put together three posts for
one purpose, I may have muddled the info.

Scroll down a bit and you'll see three posts titled
"Pondering....... cards on sale".

I'm offering them here, on this blog, for $5.00 each.
Because I am a lazy cuss I didn't change the price
at the store blog. Plus, using paypal seems to be an
unfriendly choice for lots of folks.

So. What I'm doing, if you'd like to buy some cards,
is asking that you email me and tell me what you want
and include a snail-mail address. And, since I'm not
using paypal for this, I'll take cash or check as payment.

$5.00 per card includes an envelope for each card & shipping.

There ya have it.

try, try again...

2012-01-13T11:45:00.001-05:00

Scarfed from The Hammock Papers ,
who posts every day
what many have
done right.

Pondering....... cards on sale

2012-01-11T19:56:00.000-05:00

all cards are 5x7, acid free cardstock
$5.00 each with envelope
free shipping

do not order from the store.
Prices there are higher.

email your order to me at-
beauvoirglass at aol dot com

Please send cash or check.

Pondering....... cards on sale

2012-01-11T19:54:00.000-05:00

Pondering....... cards on sale

2012-01-11T19:52:00.000-05:00

acid free cardstock

5 x 7, with envelope

$5.00 each, free shipping

email your order to
beauvoirglass at aol dot com

Do not use paypal, send cash or check.

Haiku Monday - Nocturnal...

2012-01-09T02:24:00.000-05:00

someone is awake
somewhere. writing, perhaps, or
just wondering why.
************************************

morning glory sleeps
while moonflower opens to
her night moth feeding.

********************************************

night falling on the
horizon, pushes away
last arms of the sun.
**********************************************

This week's Haiku Monday is hosted by Scout
and she chose the topic - Nocturnal.
Seventeen syllables divided into
three lines of 5-7-5.

Everyone is welcome to play.

Responding, Lt. Michael Morse...

2012-01-05T21:11:00.000-05:00

Michael Morse, at Rescuing Providence,
has had his second book published
and it is now on sale.

I read his first book and loved it.
This one looks to be as good or better.
Please click the link above and buy the book.
He is a life saver with tales well told.

forget the pumpkins, there's frost on the Palm Trees...

2012-01-03T23:06:00.000-05:00

Holy Geebus Mickey Mouse.
It was 28 here last night and tonight will be
the same or worse. Pity me, dammit.
My source of heat for any cold spell is layered
clothing and a heating pad in bed.

It's been two weeks of winter according to
the calendar and I think that's enough for
anyone. Even you yankees.

In other news you probably don't want to know,
I spent some time in the ER on Christmas Day.
Details of the condition are not important and
all is well now. However.

I'm still unemployed and without health insurance.
I put off going to the ER until I had no choice because
the thought of another large bill was nerve-wracking.
(In October, I went to a clinic I thought was connected
with the local hospital for treatment of a painful and
completely clogged ear. Office visit, ear flush and four
prescriptions later, I was out over $400. Turned out
to be a bad inner ear infection. Spending $400 hurt worse.)

So... Christmas Day.
I was received politely, quickly and efficiently. I was
also the only patient in the ER, but still, in and out in
less than an hour. All good.

When I told them I had no insurance, I was told 'no problem'...
they would see if I qualified for some kind of financial
assistance. As in emergency Medicaid.
Today I found out that, no, I do not. Why not?
Because I have no children under the age of 18, I am not
pregnant, nor am I disabled. Took about 30 seconds to
make that determination. Being unemployed and without
insurance had no bearing on the decision. At all.

Now, I am waiting to talk to the billing office at the
hospital to find out what the total amount owed is and
what kind of payment plan can be arranged. Terrific.
Like I need another bill. How far can a person stretch
$275 a week (before taxes)?
I guess I paid property taxes for 25 years so other people
could get health care.

If there is a light at the end of this tunnel, it has yet
to come into view.

Haiku Monday - new beginnings...

2012-01-02T01:00:00.000-05:00

with any minute
of any day in our life,
we can start anew.

*

every midnight ends
one and begins another.
repeats endlessly.

***************************************************
This week's Haiku Monday challenge is hosted by
Aunty Belle and the topic she chose is:
New Beginnings.

Certainly appropriate for the first week of 2012,
wouldn't you say? Click on the link to her blog
up there, read her rules and join in the fun.

good-bye 2011, bring it on 2012...

2011-12-31T13:04:00.001-05:00

I won't say good riddance to 2011.
There was more than enough good
in it that added to my good memory file.
It's rare for me to consider that any time
is wasted.
I try hard to learn something from all times.
Even in those times when I feel wasteful in
my idleness or overwhelmed by some mental
list of things that should be done,
I search for reason. A reason.
What is my reason for being?
Do I need a reason for being?
Is it enough just to be?

Pondering never stops.

I might just treat myself to a bottle of bubbly
this evening. Fuel for pondering, perhaps,
or more honestly, a legal relaxer.

It is another day to be thankful.
Thankful that I know so many people
who embrace me as I am.
A day to remember to return those embraces
wholeheartedly.
Always.

May every today contain a blessing,
a reason.
Keep your heart open to see.

Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday, little sis...

2011-12-30T06:12:00.001-05:00

A sister is often a blessing.
When she is also a friend,
that blessing is multiplied
many times.

Happy Birthday, Ann,
sister and friend.

♥

High Tides at Snack Jack...

2011-12-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

One of the best seafood restaurants in the area sits, literally,
on top of a sand dune next to A1A in Flagler Beach.
High Tides gets its seafood fresh off the boats every day.

I met NoWhereMan there for lunch.

You can sit outside
at picnic tables but
it was a bit too cool
and windy for that.
Temps only got up
to the mid-60s but,
sunshine was
plentiful.

The ocean was choppy and further south
were dozens of surfers in wet-suits.
(Didn't get pics of the surfers.)

The specials of the day
menu board.
Cash only.

The place was packed,
as usual.

I laughed at this sign.
If you don't know what chum is, go here.

I was not successful at getting
a good photo of the fishing boats.
The white spec on the horizon
in this last photo is one of three
commercial boats dragging
their nets.

Mick and I sat and talked
so long that the restaurant
was almost empty when
we left.
No doubt the kitchen was
getting revved up for the dinner crowd.

Thank you, Mick, for a wonderfully fun afternoon!

Haiku Monday - sweet...

2011-12-26T03:00:00.002-05:00

pink cotton candy
clouds greet the new day's sunrise.
welcoming promise.
*

moonlight and music.
slow dancing and romancing.
don't knock it, try it.
*

Oompa Loompas have
the sweetest job. Nothing but
choc-o-late all day.
*

it goes to my hips
and thighs and tummy and cheeks.
nothing escapes bulge.
**************************************************************

The topic for this week's Haiku Monday is
'sweet'.
Curm is the host.

You have until midnight, his time, to
submit your entries.
Dare.

Merry Christmas...

2011-12-23T15:02:00.003-05:00

Remember that you, yourself, are a gift.

the last of Blue Spring, I promise...

2011-12-22T01:31:00.000-05:00

more photos from Blue Spring...

2011-12-21T01:08:00.000-05:00

Haiku Monday - spin...

2011-12-19T13:30:00.000-05:00

it's all in how you
see it, feel it, believe it.
that's your spin on it.
*

flattened against the
wall, lights streaking overhead.
ride life's tilt-a-whirl.
*

It's Haiku Monday time and the topic
is spin.
This week's host is Fleur.

Kudos to Kristen...

2011-12-18T10:36:00.000-05:00

I be braggin' again...
Do you see the little cutie in the photo
up there, sitting on her daddy's shoulders?
That would be my niece, Kristen, about
eighteen (?) years ago.
She has since grown up to be a most lovely
young lady who...
graduated from college yesterday!
This is one hard-working, ambitious, intelligent gal.
She took double classes in high school and
graduated a year early.
While holding down a job, yo.
She, like her brother, excels at everything she does.

A college diploma, what a marvelous Christmas present, eh?

This is the newest photo I have of the
whole, happy family, taken at her brother's
high school graduation this June.
(ahem...you'll notice that her daddy has not been
using Rogaine. heh. Help him out, Santa.)

She'll be looking for work in teaching, editing,
writing and/or advertising.

I'm very proud of you, little girl, and
I wish you the best in all things always.
Much love to you, Kristen.

Blue Spring Gentle Giants...

2011-12-16T14:52:00.002-05:00

My friend Jan took all four photos on this page.

Park rangers said they counted 66 manatees this day.
We saw a couple dozen.

A mama sea cow and two babies,
most likely only one is hers.

Mama liked doing rollovers.

Blue Spring State Park...

2011-12-15T19:06:00.000-05:00

Took another walk-about, this time to
Blue Spring, to ooh and ah at the manatees
that enjoy the warm waters here in the winter.
Before we got to the manatees and other wildlife, we wandered
over to the Thursby House. One of the founding families
for this area and who originally owned this huge property...

An artist's rendition of a manatee in mosaic
lounges on the front porch. (Just for you, Boxer!)

It started to rain lightly, so we ducked into
the gift shop for shelter and browsing.
That's my friend, Jan, looking at manatee
Christmas ornaments on the tree. She's
taking a day off from bear patrol duty.

The wood sculpture of the mama sea cow
and her calf is about four feet tall.

When the rain stopped, we headed for the park trail,
after taking good note of the warning signs for the
ever-possible alligator. Watch out, Jimbo! heh.

Yes, I took photos of the manatees and oodles of
other nature-y things. Have patience, folks.
This could be a series, like the roses and autumn hiking.

the nature of things...

2011-12-14T15:31:00.000-05:00

*
it turned out
she didn't mind.

I remember my mom,
bless her beautiful loving soul,
wanted me to play with pretty
dolls and other girl things.
She said I preferred trucks and
the boxes they came in,
and books.
I was her first and a girl.
Why not ruffles and lace?
As it turned out, eventually,
I went my way toward
feminine. Love songs, make-up,
high heels. Within reason.
As it turned out,
she didn't mind at all
and kept on loving
me.
And I loved her back.

eeriezistahbul...

2011-12-12T23:20:00.000-05:00

"So, you're a carpenter and a wood-carver?" she asked.
He smiled. "And anything else I need to be at the moment."

She caught a movement in the trees to her left.
Felt herself drawn to the movement and in less than a
blink she was in the trees, in the mist.

"Are you frightened?" the mist asked.
"No. Should I be?"
It said "Darlin', you've never been safer."

She watched as features took soft shape; dark hair, even
darker eyes that smiled. The faint form of a strong, healthy
body.

She wrinkled her brow. "I can't see your clothes but you
aren't naked, either. Oh, shit. Are you a ghost?
Why does it feel like I know you?"

"Because you do. In a way.
You know me even though we've never met.
I'm not a ghost. You're seeing my soul.
And, it's your soul that I'm talking to right now."

With a gasp of recognition she said "I didn't know you
were gone! I was coming here to meet you."

"I told everyone it was happening. Turned out to be
sooner than I thought. No tears, babe.
This is a better way."

"We were friends." she whispered.

"That hasn't changed. Except it's even better now.
Listen to me... there is no human way to imagine this.
It is perfection here. Accept that. You'll feel better.
I was wrong about a lot of it. Or, at least the way I
wrote about it."

"You were wrong? Imagine that." she smiled.

"Don't be a smart-ass. I tried the best I could. Just like you.
People make a struggle out of it and it doesn't need to be.
Actually, we don't get a choice. This is the way it is.
This is, I am, nothing is anything like anyone has ever
been able to imagine. It is unknown until you get here."

She tried to glance back over her shoulder, where she had
been. How long ago?

"Don't worry about your friend." The mist knew what
she was thinking. "No one can see you here. When you go
back, he won't know you've been gone.
There is no 'time' here. It's all 'now', and now is forever.
Now and forever are one in perfection. This is not the end,
there is no stopping."

"What about the end times?"

"They've come and gone many times and will continue.
They are neverending, too."

She hesitated. "What about the Son?"

"Same as us. He lived. He tried. He died. He's fine."

"And the Bad Ones?"

"They're here, too. Just not here here. Another part of
the perfection of the perfect balance. Another unimaginable."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because you need it the most and you doubt it the most
and you want it the most. Now go back to the party."

"Will I see you again?"

"Of course. You'll see everyone, all the time,
at the same time. Always.
Go for now. Let life bring your stories and remember
you are loved."
.
.
The carpenter was staring at her. "You're looking
a bit pale. Am I boring you?"

"Oh, no. It must be jet lag. Something like a dozen time
zones and I get here three hours before I took off. Or,
something like that." She blushed.

"Well, how about I walk you back to your hotel and you
try to get a good night's sleep? Would you let me take
you to breakfast tomorrow and show you around a bit?"

She took out her notebook. He offered a pen.
She looked at his face, dark hair, darker eyes and said,
"Well, my plans have changed a bit. So, yes. I'd like that."

She wrote her number on a corner of the page, tore it off
and gave it to him. Then she wrote:
'his eyes matched the sky,
both wonder and thunder.'

Feeling a soft breath on her neck, she glanced at the trees,
saw the mist fade away.

Not a ghost. Not a dream.

A memory.

(originally posted 7-28-08. Don't freak. I'm leaving all comments
from then because some are from Bane.)

Haiku Monday - silver...

2011-12-11T01:00:00.000-05:00

Angel waiting for
ringing bells conferring wings.
Atta boy, Clarence.
*

As the Lone Ranger
said, "Hi-yo, Silver! Away!"
Don't forget Tonto.
*

two-winged silver bells
aren't silver at all. a
delicate flower.

******************************************

This week's Haiku Monday is hosted by Fishy.
The topic is 'silver'.
C'mon and play.

Busy...

2011-12-08T16:16:00.001-05:00

busier.

Pondering life and all I got was a lousy headache.
And, no sleep. again.
And, no inspiration.

Christmas in seventeen days. yikes.

Haiku Monday - time...

2011-12-04T22:33:00.000-05:00

time out of mind was
or yet to be remembered
in one-thought pieces.

*
once upon a time
this time seemed neverending.
all time is not ours.

*
winding, winding down
flash-flash path of memory
exhale one last time.

*
love it this time more
than last time. there may not be
another time here.

*******************
Karl is this week's Haiku Monday host.
Use the 5-7-5 format and join in.
Fun group of peeps.

in case it shows up fuzzy...

2011-12-03T13:24:00.000-05:00

Someday, I want this umbrella on a t-shirt.
It's an original sketch by me.
For now, I'm using it in place of a me-photo.

I considered using one of these cat photos but,
hesitate to offend. Even when I'm in a shitty mood.
Niceness like that is what got me voted
"Most Courteous" in my h.s. senior class.
Embarrassing but true.

It is December. Such joy.

Skating on the beach not what I ass-umed...

2011-11-30T23:15:00.000-05:00

This is what I was hoping to see...
you know, like Cary Grant & Loretta Young
in 'The Bishop's Wife'. (I want this movie.)

Well, of course I would.
Fantasy is always better than reality.
And, so it was today...

Pretty good build-up advertising.

First of all, this is about 3 pm and it's a school day.
Second of all, this is not exactly where I thought the
rink would be.
Thirdly, not many tourists in town but holy crap...
there was ONE guy skating and I think he works there.

I thought the action might pick up later,
so I treated myself to the movie 'j. edgar'.
I liked the movie.

Evening did not bring out the crowds.

I thought the skating rink was going to be
in front of the Bandshell, not at the
opposite end of the patio.
(sorry for the sucky photo. It looks like
half the lights are missing and I swear
I saw them with my own eyeballs but
the camera refused to agree with me.)

I might go back in a few weeks and see
if the attendance improves.

moooood and attituuuuuude...

2011-11-29T22:52:00.001-05:00

are both pretty close to the bottom of the pit.
The seemingly endless struggle, constant worry
and sense of insecurity is wearing me down.
Kinda wish it was wearing me thin but, cheap food
is fattening. You didn't know that, did you?

Got word that three more people were called back
to the old job. Five total, leaving six to wonder if.
In the meantime, I'm still sending out resumes and
filling in applications. No response from any so far.
Two this week are somewhat appealing. One is a
customer rep position with the local trash/recycling
company and the other is with the county, working
in the vehicle tag and title office. Respectable money
and nice benefits. (Dealing with the public, lord help me.)
Fingers crossed.

I think I'm due for a walk-about. Take some photos.
They set up an ice rink on the beach. Yes, they did.
Keeping it there through the holidays. $10 lets you
skate all day and includes the skates. Sounds like a
pretty good deal but, I've never skated so I'll just go
watch silly people laugh and fall on their butts and
maybe come away with a few photos to share here.

I keep saying it could be worse but I'm trying real hard
not to imagine what that would be.

Haiku Monday energy/energize...

2011-11-27T21:46:00.002-05:00

intimidation
takes the wind from people's sails.
floating dull adrift.

First deep breath in the
morning. Yawn and stretch and smile.
Let the day begin!

I found a haiku contest through Boxer's blog.
This week Haiku Monday is being hosted by Serendipity.
Follow the links, read the entries and join in the fun, why doncha?

WHY am I still awake at 4 am?...

2011-11-27T04:05:00.001-05:00

I hate sleepless nights. Hate.Them.

I need ice cream.

in the midst of all the crap, I must remember to be Thankful for...

2011-11-23T23:45:00.001-05:00

nothing new under the sun...

2011-11-22T17:42:00.001-05:00

or on this blog.
I need to work on that.

The Veil War... a book in progress

2011-11-19T14:19:00.000-05:00

...Marines in Iraq fighting Goblins invading earth...

One never knows where Blackfive will send his readers.

'The Veil War' is a book in progress. Serialized weekly.

I'm not usually a fan of sci-fi/fantasy writing but, after
reading the three chapters available so far, I'm hooked.

Click any of the links in this post (including the image above)
and see if you are not equally impressed.
The author also welcomes comments/suggestions/criticism.

Welcome back, Ron...

2011-11-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

He's been away from blogging for two years
and returns with very sad news.

He entertained many of us with stories of
some of the escapades from his life.
Then life determined he had more important
things to focus on.

Please take a minute to welcome him back
and encourage him to keep writing.

Rantin' Ron, you've been missed.

haiku - to artists...

2011-11-14T13:00:00.003-05:00

Art is first a gift
to yourself. It brightens your
own soul, being made.

the last of the leaves...

2011-11-12T08:46:00.000-05:00

Thank you, Jennifer, for letting me share
your beautiful photos with my friends.

more Autumn hiking...

2011-11-12T08:23:00.001-05:00

Autumn hiking in Ohio...

2011-11-12T08:02:00.002-05:00

I wish I could take credit for these photos.
Alas, I wasn't even in the neighborhood.
My sister, Ann, goes hiking with one
of her co-workers, Jennifer, through the
wilds of Summit County. Jen took these
photos and graciously gave me permission
to share them with all of you.

Veterans Day...

2011-11-11T01:00:00.001-05:00

PBJ...

2011-11-09T22:00:00.000-05:00

His name was Peanut Butter Jones.
His parents were hippies.
His quest was to find the perfect Jelly.

He spread Orange Marmalade, licked
Peach Preserves and dipped a digit in his
cousin Apple Butter.
Plain Grape made him drip. Red Raspberry
stuck in his teeth. Elder Berry was too ripe
and Cherry was taken a long time ago.

Poor Peanut changed his name to Damn Skippy.

haiku - leaving a trace...

2011-11-08T14:16:00.000-05:00

I can see me gone
full soul, ravenous for more
word mem'ries alive

it's Monday...

2011-11-07T07:24:00.002-05:00

Death is a blind date
in top hat and tail while you
sit there in your sweats

peepul, pleeeeeeze...

2011-11-05T19:02:00.000-04:00

If you're going to take pics with your
digital camera and email them to other
peeps... DO NOT SEND BILLBOARD SIZE.

Geez. Go to the menu in your camera and
choose a smaller size. Much smaller.
(I don't know if this applies to cameras in phones.)

I got an email with photos attached that made
the file size 11,000kb-thingies. Holy crap. It took
almost an hour to download. OK, I have an old
computer and a slowwww 'net connection but still!

The email after that is sitting at 15,000kb-thingies.
And, after waiting for the first one to finish, there
was an error message that the file is corrupt so no
pics were transmitted anyway.

I did the same thing until Berry very patiently 'splaind
to me what to do. Plus, the camera software has options
to save the pics at 100%, 75%, 50% and 25%.

Save the planet, save space, downsize.

p.s. Change your clocks. Daylight Savings Time ends today.
Dammit.

You're welcome.

Caption this...

2011-11-02T22:42:00.000-04:00

I plucked this guy from one of those annoying
forwarded emails. He was at the bottom of the
page and the only thing worth noting.

I think he's adorable and witty and
he hasn't said anything yet.

What is he saying to you? Tell us all in comments.

November roses...

2011-11-01T13:30:00.001-04:00

2011-11-01T13:15:00.000-04:00

November roses...

2011-11-01T12:41:00.001-04:00

In truth, I took these photos last week, still in October.
But, they are, indeed, still blooming profusely now.

Anything I attempt to grow must be hardy because I
am a poor gardener. These Old Florida Roses have been
mostly ignored since planted at the back door more than
five years ago.

The bushes have sprawled to more than five feet tall
and at least that wide. Sparky runs under them to chase
squirrels and lizards and whatnot.

haiku - Halloween...

2011-10-31T01:29:00.002-04:00

I have no lean toward
Halloween's goblins, ghosts and
witches. Boo yourself.

the rest of the photos from this week...

2011-10-30T06:23:00.000-04:00

Granada Bridge crossing the Halifax River
heading east to A1A and the beach.

A small park just south of the bridge.

This old oak tree would be broader and
more shapely if they didn't keep trimming
it back from the power lines.

Nice weather for the end of October.
Hope ya'll had a great weekend.

Life is...

2011-10-28T18:11:00.003-04:00

Instead of asking, keep doing. Over and over.
Even through 300 lifetimes.
Or is it not that important to you?

October 27, 1987...

2011-10-27T22:22:00.000-04:00

today is the day
my mother died
twenty-four years ago.
I meant to say more
should have done more.
As usual, I
waited too long.

Photographs from this week...

2011-10-25T18:22:00.000-04:00

The weather has been beautiful.
I've wanted to capture some photos
of this dolphin sculpture in front of
one of the local libraries for a while.

It was commissioned from local artist
Paul Baliker.

You can view his website here.

I have a very simple digital camera with limited software but
I love making a variety of images from a couple of basic shots.

Black and white has always been a favorite.
I think the shadows and shades give a photo
even more depth and dimension than color.
Plus, b&w reminds me of growing up in the 50's.

Walk softly, tread lightly...

2011-10-24T00:10:00.001-04:00

I don't always know who me is.

~You're afraid of you.

Why would I be afraid of me?

~You haven't been who you are. You've tried to be
who you think you should be. If that was different
than who you are, you thought it made the real you bad.

I'm not bad, am I?

~Why do you have to ask?

haiku - Grief...

2011-10-22T18:17:00.003-04:00

peace comes to a heart
that grieves for love lost, time lost
when next life begins

haiku - Subtle...

2011-10-20T10:13:00.002-04:00

relaxed observance
never hiding but quiet
within and without

haiku - Velvet...

2011-10-17T17:33:00.002-04:00

the little pocket
of skin high inside her thigh.
velvet to his lips.

is it just me...

2011-10-14T16:49:00.000-04:00

or does the poem in the previous post
look like a lamp? With the photo as the lampshade.

ain't no sunshine...

2011-10-09T09:29:00.000-04:00

it's been days and days.
many
many
more than one day.
so many days that
memory did forget
any other days that
were not as this day.
gray
dull
listless, lifeless,
soundless swirl.
blending endlessly
each day
into
every day.
some day
begins.
no day
ends.

Chinese fortune cookies say...

2011-10-06T12:07:00.001-04:00

"Make decisions from the heart
and use your head to
make it work out."

*
*

"Giving will make you smile."

*
*

(Came with my egg foo young last night.)

a rock and a hard place...

2011-10-04T18:55:00.001-04:00

Unemployment in this suck-ass county is 11%.
National is 9.1%.
And, yet, the local fish-wrap is claiming that 'things'
are getting better here. They make that claim not
because hiring has increased but, because it seems
that lay-offs have stopped and foreclosures have
leveled off. So, in the minds of all those
still-getting-paid-well-experts, as long as the
job market isn't getting worse it must be getting better.
And, they said things will probably stay as they are
for about five years. Then we 'might' see some growth.

Wonder who pays for the party they'll probably have
to celebrate the good news?

I've been looking at job listings for other parts of Florida
and a couple of other states. Unfortunately, most places
don't hire out-of-towners. At least not for the kinds of jobs
I can do, have done. I'd have to move somewhere first then,
hope to find work. And who would rent to a no job stranger?

It's a constant battle to keep my attitude above the level
of don't.give.a.shit. Today I came this close >< to tossing
clothes, computer and Sparky in the car and heading...??

Fuckit. I'm sorry for whining.
I used to smile and say 'still here, still breathing'.
Now it's more 'life sucks and then you die'.

I don't like feeling this way.

What would I do without books?...

2011-10-01T15:07:00.001-04:00

Possibly get drunk in a sleazy bar.

Getting lost in pages can be another way to
hide from one's own reality. So be it.
Reading is my drug of choice.

I sometimes wonder what a good shrink might
have to say about me after perusing my
reading choices. My choices have changed over
the years. Used to be a lot of self-help titles piled
up by the bed. The past several years have seen
my focus broaden, although I will admit to still
being in search of myself through others.
An example to... emulate? explain? understand?

If nothing else reading is exercise for the brain.
Use it or lose it.

Because I have nothing else to offer at the moment,
here's a list of recent reads. (Too lazy to link so many.)

*Flyboys, A True Story Of Courage (James Bradley)
*Our Town, A Heartland Lynching (Cynthia Carr)
*Lit, A Memoir (Mary Karr)
*The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
*Snow Falling On Cedars (David Guterson)
*John Muir, Apostle of Nature (Thurman Wilkins)
*Jane Goodall, a Biography (Dale Peterson)
*Capote, a Biography (Gerald Clarke)
*Mirror Lake (Thomas Christopher Greene)
*The Mermaid Chair (Sue Monk Kidd)
*(in process) The Help (Kathryn Stockett)

If there are any repeats from past lists, it's because
I sometimes read a book more than once if I like it
a lot. Novel idea (pun intended). I also learn/remember
more when I repeat.
Oh, to have a photographic memory.
No different than watching a good movie more
than once although, I have friends who say,
"What's the point in that?".
My response to that...
"You had good sex once and never went back?"

THE Erica Sherman...

2011-09-28T18:25:00.004-04:00

One uhda coolest peeps in da woild has
come back to blogging after a much-too-long
hiatus. With beautiful photos, yo.

Go say 'welcome back' at Erica's Photo Blog.

Yesterday was the first day of Autumn...

2011-09-24T14:16:00.001-04:00

I didn't notice until I looked at the calendar.
The temps here are declining ever so gradually,
as always. I think it's been a whole week of not
getting above 90. Almost pleasant. Still humid.
Next month should be cool enough to go to the beach.

It's true, I live in Florida and I don't like the beach
in hot weather. Fall and winter are much nicer and
the people are fewer.

My head's been full of whiny, screechy noises lately.
I bore myself. I lose patience with myself.
I know so many who are going through much worse
than what nags at me. I may have to start making a
list of reasons I have to be grateful. Perspective, ya know.

Last night I went through some of my first posts, thinking
I would rework/edit some to see if I could make them better.
I didn't get far. Some of the old stuff is plain embarrassing.
My voice was different then. I spent a lot of time and space
just dumping and flushing. Necessary, at the time, I guess.

I wonder now what is necessary besides surviving.
Exist and survive. Survive and exist. Energy draining.

Maybe I need more vitamins.

Humming out loud...

2011-09-20T00:01:00.002-04:00

When life has baked your cake,
remember to lick
the bits of icing
it left in the bowl.

(just another version of the poem/thoughts
in the previous post)

Eyes wide open...

2011-09-17T12:18:00.005-04:00

not all will be well
sometimes or always
some things or one thing.
but enough
sometimes
some days
to smile with graceful
and grateful heart
to dance with
joyful soul.

So Many Questions...

2011-09-14T21:47:00.000-04:00

~Where's mama when you need her?
~Who'll get tired first?
~Are there elephant trunk prosthetics?
~Is the crocodile laughing?
~Why do I relate to the elephant and not the croc?
~Can a lesson be learned too late?
~Would anyone root for the crocodile?
~Do elephants pray?
~Where are the rest of the photos?
~Do you squinch up your eyes and turn away?

photo blatantly stolen from Cactus Mark.

The 'net is a wonderful thing...

2011-09-12T22:00:00.004-04:00

when your connection is reliable.
Which mine has not been for a while now.
Tech support. Yeah, right.

I'll be doing this with my fingers crossed and
while holding my breath.

testing, testing...

it's Labor Day...

2011-09-05T01:00:00.006-04:00

dude, relax.

oh, wait, you don't have a j.o.b.
grab a cold one for me, wouldja?

Enough...

2011-09-01T15:51:00.002-04:00

how many hours
spent explaining
why and how
and why again
why am I
this way
how do I
that way.
no answer is complete
no reason enlightens
enough
to make the questions stop.
Stop asking
or see me walk away, still
to do what
and why
because...

Wounded Warrior Project fundraiser...

2011-08-30T13:51:00.000-04:00

One of my blog buddies, Art, is running a fundraiser
for the Wounded Warrior Project through his blog at
Carteach0. He explains it all here.

Basically, you make a donation to the Project and your
name gets entered in a drawing at Art's place so you
have a chance to win the prizes on his blog.

Wounded Warrior Project is a worthwhile program that
deserves support.

Have you seen Harvey?...

2011-08-27T13:05:00.001-04:00

"I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor,
and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it."
Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy Stewart) in Harvey, 1950.

To see some trailers, go here.

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say,
'In this world, Elwood, you must be'--she always called
me Elwood-- 'In this world, Elwood, you must be
oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart.
I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."
Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy Stewart) in Harvey, 1950.

Best.Movie.Ever.

Hawkeye mourns...

2011-08-24T17:27:00.004-04:00

At the funeral for Jon Tumlinson,
one of the SEALs lost in the helicopter
crash in Afghanistan, Hawkeye mourns
for his master.

Go to Joan's or Blackfive for the full
heartbreaking story.

hard truth...

2011-08-20T21:08:00.001-04:00

we're on our own.
the more you lean,
the harder you fall.

bubble-wrap farts...

2011-08-16T20:15:00.000-04:00

After McD's and too much Co'cola while
sitting on a hard chair.

*ppttt*ppttt*ppttt*ppttt*ppppppptt*

Damn things sting a bit while exploding, too.

If there's a video for this, I dun wanna know.

Requirements...

2011-08-10T12:56:00.000-04:00

Meetings. Counselors. Seminars.
Document. Document. Document.
Set up profile. Upload resume.
Job search. Job search. Job search.
Validate existence. Justify subsistence.

Looking for a job is a full-time job.

Last employer had another lay-off.
Remaining crew worries.

People who claim to be experts (in what, I'm not sure)
are saying the country is heading for another recession.

When did the first one end?

haiku blues...

2011-08-06T17:22:00.001-04:00

letting go of it
is hardest when it has been
nearly all there was.

thanks, Bonnie!...

2011-08-02T14:03:00.002-04:00

I love my bloggy friends.

It isn't all flamingoes and 'gators...

2011-07-31T16:50:00.002-04:00

I have friends who live over that-a-way about 25 miles.
They live in a senior (55+) community surrounded by
lots of forest-y land and not far from the edges of the
Ocala National Forest.

They enjoy sitting on their enclosed front porch and
watching cute little critters eating the seeds and nuts
my friends leave in the yard and the bird feeder.

You know... the smile inducing kind like cardinals,
blue jays, mockingbirds, herons, hummingbirds,
black birds, squirrels and an occasional raccoon.

Little. 99.9% harmless.
Until a few weeks ago.

In that time, they've had three black bear sightings.
OK, technically, two sightings. One time was merely
noticing the bird feeder had been destroyed and the
culprit left six piles of bear scat in the yard.

Other residents throughout the community have
reported black bears for a while. Always late at
night or very early morning just before the trash
pick-up is scheduled. The bears are raiding the
trash cans looking for food.

Many of the people who live there (including my friends)
have dogs and walk their dogs through the park, usually in
the early morning and late evening when it's dark.
Dark is when the bears show up.

So far no one has encountered a bear on their walk.
So far.

The official advice if such were to occur is: Don't panic.
Don't run away because the bear might chase you.
Make noise to scare the bear. Back up slowly but don't
look the bear in the eye because that is interpreted as
a threat to the bear.

They make pepper spray for bears. Wouldn't that piss
them off? Should they carry pots and pans to make noise?
Berry suggested cherry bombs/small fireworks. I think I'd
be shaking too hard to light a fuse.

The community managers claim their calls to state officials
have done nothing because no one has been hurt. They say
the black bear is listed as endangered so they cannot be shot.
They are behind the times because I found an article that said
the Florida black bear was removed from the endangered list
last month. I'm not advocating killing the bears but, if one
needs to protect oneself in an attack...

Anyway, I suggested that they carry an air horn and,
lo and behold, they got the same advice from another friend
who happens to be a hunter. So, now my friends have an air horn.

All I know is, from now on, I'll make sure to leave their
neighborhood while it's still daylight.

Wasn't that simply one of the most exciting posts you've ever read here??

It's been too hot to think...

2011-07-25T14:31:00.000-04:00

so, I haven't.

What I did on my summer unemployment...

2011-07-14T19:31:00.001-04:00

Cabin fever hit hard yesterday so I mosied to the Boardwalk
and took some photos. (click for bigger)
This structure is the Bandshell. It was one of several WPA
projects in the area during the Depression.
It's used at least once a week for free concerts.

This is the pier... restaurant/bar. And you can fish off the end.

I wanted shrimp from Bubba Gump's but there was a huge crowd waiting to get in so I opted for a burger at
Johnny Rocket's instead.

It's a retro diner with a very fun staff.

Juke boxes play music from
the '50s and '60s and about once an hour
the staff sings and dances to
one of the old songs.
These kids are so young that they probably
never heard any of this music before they started
working here.
The little blond on the left was my waitress and
she had some... er, difficulties... keeping up
with the other girls.
The girl on the far right had it goin' on.

Cabin fever cured, for now.

hard rain...

2011-07-12T12:40:00.000-04:00

leeching through
cracks, crevices, old rot.
suffers bones
to crumble.
destroys shelter
meant to be
haven now hell.
refuge decayed
to ruin.
hard rain
wears me down.

Sippican Cottage and Walking Man...

2011-07-10T22:33:00.001-04:00

Mark finished the third
book of poetry in his
trilogy.

Sippican has published a book of
37 of his short stories.

They're two of the
good guys who happen
to be talented writers.

Click on the images
to get the full dope
on how to buy
their books.

Atlantis...

2011-07-09T20:25:00.002-04:00

Have you noticed that I don't post videos?
I are techtard.

However, my friends Nowhere Man and Joan deSlack
have both posted a beautiful NASA video from the
closing crew for the last shuttle flight for Atlantis.

Go see.

innocent...

2011-07-09T14:28:00.001-04:00

trust and love and hope
vulnerable to the pain
of disappointment

Meet my leetle frien'...

2011-07-07T09:23:00.000-04:00

This is Bailey.
She lives in Texas.
She is my friend's great-granddaughter.

Go ahead, say awwwww.

Too soon to panic...

2011-06-24T23:00:00.000-04:00

I got word earlier this week that another
action was taken because of the drop in
work orders.
The remaining crew has been cut back to
a four day work week.

I'm not panicking because they had to go
through the same thing last summer.
A large portion of this company's customers
are in Europe. If you are familiar with some
of the European work customs, you know
that many businesses close for a month or
two in the summer and everyone goes on
"holiday". That, of course, affects any other
business that they deal with anywhere.

By August of last year, my employer had everyone
working full-time again and needed to hire a
few additional people. Enter myself and five others.

I believe (and am hoping) that this pattern will repeat
this year. No guarantees, of course.

I'm still looking at other jobs but there really isn't
much difference in the job market now than what it
was in 2009 and 2010. At least not in Central Florida.

Sorry if I'm boring ya'll. Even though I'm not really
wallowing in some deep emotional pit, I'm not
exactly doing a happy dance, either. Been contemplating
all my options.

In better news... I've been invited to dinner with friends
tomorrow to a new (to me) restaurant.
If I remember to take the camera, perhaps there will
be some worthwhile photos.

My brain just isn't right for creativity at the moment.

the sun'll come up tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwww...

2011-06-21T12:42:00.002-04:00

with us or without us.

damn hoomins kept getting
in the way of my picher takin'

fitting and proper...

2011-06-19T23:14:00.000-04:00

Appropriately enough, we were surrounded
by black clouds all weekend.

Except for the mornings, there was almost constant rain, thunder and lightning.

Even tornado warnings.

I chose to stay inside all weekend.
Picked up a six-pack of Corona on my way
to the motel Friday. Drank three. Got drunk.
Saturday, got drunk on the remaining three
and had pizza delivered.

My toes never touched sand.
Took over one hundred photos from the balcony.

I'm better now. Life goes on.

deja vu SUCKS...

2011-06-17T12:27:00.000-04:00

I got laid off today with three others.

They said they will call us all back as soon
as work picks up again. No idea when.

In the previous post, I mentioned that I
was going to spend the weekend at the beach.
Fuck it. I'm still doing it. I deserve something good.
Besides, you have to cancel at least 24 hours ahead
or get charged for one day.

So, I will be incommunicado until Sunday.

Hope your day was better than mine.

Please don't let this be another summer of fires like 1998...

2011-06-15T21:15:00.000-04:00

It was 99 degrees today with 80% humidity, and we
never saw the sun. It was masked by the smoke from
the fires in the area.

Arizona is much worse but, it looks like we may be
playing catch-up pretty soon.

Our summer of 1998 was the worst. The entire state
was on fire. I had to evacuate my house with four
cats and a dog. The flames got within four blocks.
When I got home again, the roof and the yard were
covered in ashes. We had firefighters from every state
plus Mexico and Canada helping with control efforts.
Bless them all.

The fires this year actually started in Feb./March.
Rain has been almost non-existent and when there is
any, it usually brings lightning which starts more fires.
Today they evacuated some homes in an area no more
than five miles from me and another area about ten
miles away. Last count was 48 fires in this county and
nearly two dozen in the county north of here.
Plus hundreds of others scattered throughout the state.
Yesterday, governor what's-his-name declared a state
of emergency because of the increase in the fires.

I booked a room at the beach for this weekend... before
this got so bad. Oh, well. They have cable. At least I can
keep up on the news.

happy girl...

2011-06-11T18:18:00.004-04:00

Let's see what kind of haiku you can come
up with for this drawing... in comments.

lost and found...

2011-06-04T12:27:00.000-04:00

This message applies to so many people in my life.
Sometimes it makes me sad.
Then I think that I should be grateful
that those people are still in my life
at all.

I found this little plate in some
junk store or antique shop
long forgotten.

Who do you think of when you read the verse?

Memorial Day...

2011-05-29T11:48:00.000-04:00

a bit of bragging and a favorite memory...

2011-05-26T21:26:00.001-04:00

The good looking hunk of youth in the photo
is my nephew, Zack. He's graduating from
high school this weekend.

He'll be heading to the University of Cincinnati
in the fall to major in computer engineering.
Zack (like his older sister) worked hard through
high school and is racking up scholarships to help
with the expenses for college. He's also planning
on grabbing summer paid internships.

My brother and sister-in-law have done a fabulous
job of raising two motivated, hard-working, talented,
fun-loving, brainy chillun. The kids actually enjoy spending
time together as a family. And, their house is always
open to their friends. They've been encouraged to love
life, accept challenges and grab for the brass ring.

Living so far away means that I've missed much in person.
But, one of my favorite memories comes from when I
visited them about fourteen years ago.
Zack would have been about four. My brother, Zack's dad,
needed to go to the local college to register for a class.
Zack and I went with him and it turned out that the
registration office was on the first floor of one of the
girls' dorms.

Zack (remember he was four) and I sat on a bench outside
the dorm and I remember it was a beautiful fall day in Ohio.
Dozens of college girls were passing by.

I noticed my little nephew paying very close attention to
the nubile females. I asked him "What do you think about
all these pretty girls, Zack?"
He looked up at me with huge, sensitive brown eyes and
the sweetest smile I've ever seen anywhere and replied,
"They're not as pretty as you, Aunt Jean."

Oh, yeah. Aunt Jean melted.
Right there. Right then.
And declared his future very bright.

I have no idea if he remembers that moment or, indeed,
any part of my visit that year. But, me? It still brings
tears to my eyes and makes my heart swell.

I love you, Zachary, and I wish you all the best, all the good
and all the joy that your heart can hold.

If you haven't noticed...

2011-05-24T19:17:00.001-04:00

After a very long blog hiatus, Bane's daughter,
Maiden Magnetic has resumed posting.
You were missed, little girl.

aaaaaaaaand... I missed the birthday of my good
friend, Nowhere Man, this past Saturday.
Would you click on over there and hand out some
belated warm and fuzzies? Maybe he'll stop pouting.
(I'm kidding, he doesn't pout he just rants a bit now and then.)