it's been days and days. many many more than one day. so many days that memory did forget any other days that were not as this day. gray dull listless, lifeless, soundless swirl. blending endlessly each day into every day. some day begins. no day ends.
Unemployment in this suck-ass county is 11%. National is 9.1%. And, yet, the local fish-wrap is claiming that 'things' are getting better here. They make that claim not because hiring has increased but, because it seems that lay-offs have stopped and foreclosures have leveled off. So, in the minds of all those still-getting-paid-well-experts, as long as the job market isn't getting worse it must be getting better. And, they said things will probably stay as they are for about five years. Then we 'might' see some growth.
Wonder who pays for the party they'll probably have to celebrate the good news?
I've been looking at job listings for other parts of Florida and a couple of other states. Unfortunately, most places don't hire out-of-towners. At least not for the kinds of jobs I can do, have done. I'd have to move somewhere first then, hope to find work. And who would rent to a no job stranger?
It's a constant battle to keep my attitude above the level of don't.give.a.shit. Today I came this close >< to tossing clothes, computer and Sparky in the car and heading...??
Fuckit. I'm sorry for whining. I used to smile and say 'still here, still breathing'. Now it's more 'life sucks and then you die'.
Getting lost in pages can be another way to hide from one's own reality. So be it. Reading is my drug of choice.
I sometimes wonder what a good shrink might have to say about me after perusing my reading choices. My choices have changed over the years. Used to be a lot of self-help titles piled up by the bed. The past several years have seen my focus broaden, although I will admit to still being in search of myself through others. An example to... emulate? explain? understand?
If nothing else reading is exercise for the brain. Use it or lose it.
Because I have nothing else to offer at the moment, here's a list of recent reads. (Too lazy to link so many.)
*Flyboys, A True Story Of Courage (James Bradley) *Our Town, A Heartland Lynching (Cynthia Carr) *Lit, A Memoir (Mary Karr) *The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger) *Snow Falling On Cedars (David Guterson) *John Muir, Apostle of Nature (Thurman Wilkins) *Jane Goodall, a Biography (Dale Peterson) *Capote, a Biography (Gerald Clarke) *Mirror Lake (Thomas Christopher Greene) *The Mermaid Chair (Sue Monk Kidd) *(in process) The Help (Kathryn Stockett)
If there are any repeats from past lists, it's because I sometimes read a book more than once if I like it a lot. Novel idea (pun intended). I also learn/remember more when I repeat. Oh, to have a photographic memory. No different than watching a good movie more than once although, I have friends who say, "What's the point in that?". My response to that... "You had good sex once and never went back?"